


As if he were finding out the world was okay again.

by Mazelike



Series: As if he were finding out the world was okay again. [1]
Category: The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-11 00:19:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 38,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3308630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mazelike/pseuds/Mazelike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Thomas, a 20 year-old Art student, met Newt, he didn't expect to fall in love, to feel his heart beat faster at the sight of the blond. He didn't expect to find love, but he does. <br/>When Newt, a 20 year-old British student, met Thomas, he tried everything he could not to fall in love. He didn't have the right to. He tried everything not to fall in love but sadly, he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“To-To-To...”

Thomas looked at his younger brother, a two-year-old brown-haired baby currently trying to escape his little bed. Thomas tried not to be bothered by his little brother but he had an exam the following day. An exam he could not afford to fail.

“Mom?” he asked. As usual, nobody answered him. He sighed and took the baby out of his bed with a look of despair on his face. Why did he have to share his room with the new born? His parents were the ones who _created_ the little bug, why didn't they take care of it? He was not the fucking adult in the house, he was eighteen and barely able to remember what he had had for breakfast in the morning!

He left his room, holding the baby at arm length.

“Mom, could you take care of that thing for a minute please? I'm trying to study here!”

He failed at hiding the bitterness in his tone.

 

* * *

  

It was a beautiful afternoon but Thomas could not stop biting his nails. Though his teachers had told him there was no reason he had failed his exam, the brown-haired felt nervous. Lost in his thinking, he realized that nervous was an understatement when the taste of blood invaded his mouth. Surprised, he looked at his hand to find the tip of his finger completely red, obviously bleeding.

 

 

When he went to school the following day, his hands were shaking. Today was the day. Thomas was finally going to have his test results. He could still not be sure if it was a great or a bad thing, too happy to end the unbearable suspense but at the same time way too panicked to feel able to face what was to come. With one heavy and shaky breathe, Thomas entered the building.

 

 

“MOM! MOM, I DID IT! I HAVE THE RESULT! I DID IT, I PASSED!”

In the blink of an eye, his mother was by his side, tears running down her face. Her pride was illuminating her features, something Thomas was not really used to see. It made him smile brightly and in this moment, he could not think of anything else than “ _You fucking did it!_ ”

He trully realized what it meant during dinner. His father was just coming back from work and Thomas greeted him with an impressive joy. They all sat around the table, glasses of wine and Thomas favorite food on the table, and Thomas' father told him -for the very first time- that he was proud of him and that they would miss him.

It hit him right at that moment. “ _No turning back. You're moving, living on your own. Finding your own path._ ” That's what he wanted, it was the whole purpose of these last months of studying, of hard-working and now, it scared him. Just a little. Thomas had never thought he would go that far. He had never imagined he would pass. He smiled but he was sure his glistening eyes betrayed him.

 

* * *

 

 

_“There you go Tom!”_

His parents had been gone for an hour at least and there he was, trying to unpack the rest of his things when all he could focus on was the voice of his mother. “What a baby,” he thought, “stop moping like that!” He was actually pretty happy when a knock on the door distracted him from his thoughts. The door swung open, revealing... a mop of black hair and a big cardboard box. Thomas raised an eyebrow and looked with a smirk as the boy entered the small room. Dropping the box on one of the beds, the boy said: “Hi Greenie, y'must be my roomate.”

“No shit Sherlock!” A new voice interrupted. “Now bloody tell me where I'm supposed to put that.”

Another boy had just entered the room and Thomas could not prevent a smile.

“D'you need help?” he asked to the new comer who still had a huge and probably heavy box in his hands.

“'m fine here, don't worry.” The voice answered. It piqued Thomas curiosity: something about that voice was slightly different than what he was used to.

“Minho, bloody hell, where do I put that buggin' stuff?!”

Definitely a British accent.

“Drop it on the bed- I can drop it on the bed man, right?” the dark haired guy asked.

“Oh, yeah, go ahead, I put my stuff on the other bed anyway.”

“Thanks Greenie!”

The second guy finally entered the small dorm for real and dropped the box unceremoniously on the second bed, his back to Thomas. He arched his back right after and slowly turned, ending up facing Thomas who felt his heart miss a beat at the sight of the guy. He was tall, probably even taller than him, slim and had amazing blond hair. He locked his eyes with Thomas for a second and Thomas was a hundred percent sure he had never seen darker eyes before: the boy's eyes were black and Thomas thought for a disctracting second how easy it would be to drown into them.

“I'm Minho,” the black haired boy said, introducing himself. Asian features and a look of pure mischief on his face, he stood beside his friend. “And here is-”

“Name's Newt, Greenie.”

“Thomas.”

With that, they shook hands.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So here is Minho of course,” the girl started to introduce the guys around the table. “Newt whom you already seem to know if I judge by the adorable look you gave him, Gally, Winston, Alby and Brenda.”
> 
> Thomas tried to hide his blushing nonetheless and rose his eyes just in time to see Newt grab his coat and stand up quickly. In the blink of an eye, Newt was gone, his unfinished food still on the table.

“So, Greenie, since we're gonna have to share a room, let me ask you a few questions!”

“Er-”

“Good that! Girlfriend?”

“Er- What? No, but-”

“Boyfriend then?”

Thomas felt his cheeks heat up: it was just like Minho had read his thoughts earlier. All right, this Newt guy was cute. Newt was handsome, fine. Thomas had no experience with boys and his only relationship with a girl had ended up pretty badly, involving screams, jealousy and a glass thrown at his face. But, come on, for what he knew, Thomas could be gay or straight or he could like both boys and girls, it was not a crime. He stopped his proccessing. Why the Hell was he trying to justify himself? Why did he have so incoherent thoughts? All that because of an annoying Asian student he didn't even know! The guy knew how to mess up someone's head for sure!

“No! Why the fuck-”

“Great! D'you smoke?”

“I met you like literaly 10mn ago, stop that shit!”

“Calm down Greenie, just asking.” Was Minho's answer.

“And stop calling me Greenie!”

Thomas could clearly see the smirk spreading on the other boy's face.

“I like you already!”

“Are you studying psychology?” Thomas suddenly asked. Minho reminded him way too much of these psychopaths trying to get inside your head and Thomas was pretty sure the boy was taking these mentalism classes.

Minho looked at him with a new interest, like Thomas was a puppy who turned out to be more clever than what he thought first. A genuine smile lit his face and Minho nodded.

“Second year,” he added. “What are you studying, Thomas?”

The emphasis he put on Thomas' name was impossible to miss. Minho was obviously the annoyingly teasing type. Thomas did his best not to sigh and answered “Arts.” His roomate didn't make any comment and quickly turned his back to Thomas, unpacking some of his stuff.

“You just got here? First year?”

“No, it's my second year, but yeah, I just moved here, it's bigger and I wanted to take specific classes so, here I am!”

“Good that.”

They unpacked in silence, deciding which bed they wanted to take, trying not to stumble on each other in the very small room. Two beds, a desk, one cupboard, a bathroom and a huge window. It was indeed quite small for two male students. They had fun, already acting confortable around each other and, by the next hour, when they started to get hungry, Minho and Thomas left their room to grab some food, just like if they had known each other for a while.

 

 

Minho took him to the cafeteria, where they bought two burgers. They were looking for a table when suddenly a girl with long black hair and amazing blue eyes showed up and told Minho “they” were sitting “over there”, vaguely gesturing to a corner of the cafeteria with her hand. They followed her and Thomas had no time to wonder who was “they” because he saw Newt, sitting there with a bunch of people Thomas didn't know. How could he possibly know them anyway? The girl passed him and sat down, just beside Newt.

“Who's this shank?”

The deep voice had an accusing tone, like if Thomas had done something wrong, which he obviously hadn't, so Thomas assumed the accusation was more directed toward Minho, who brought him here.

“Slim it, Gally.” Newt interrupted, not even looking up from his food.

“I'm Thomas,” the brown-haired young man said, suddenly self-conscious with all this staring.

“Teresa!”

The black haired girl had a beautiful smile on her face and her blue eyes amazed Thomas once more. He felt immediately at ease with her and he allowed himself to relax a little.

“Sit down,” Teresa added, showing him the seat right next to her.

“So here is Minho of course,” the girl started to introduce the guys around the table. “Newt whom you already seem to know if I judge by the adorable look you gave him, Gally, Winston, Alby and Brenda.”

Thomas blinked, unable to stop the blushing that was slowly gaining his cheeks at the mention of how he appearantly looked at Newt. He tried to pretend nothing had happened but didn't dare to raise his eyes from his burger. Newt didn't say a word either and Thomas stopped himself from looking at the blond boy again. “ _Great_ ,” Thomas thought, “ _this is already fucking weird and I haven't even properly talked to these people yet_ **.** ”

He tried to hide his blushing nonetheless and rose his eyes just in time to see Newt grab his coat and stand up quickly. In the blink of an eye, Newt was gone, his unfinished food still on the table.

 

 

“He didn't leave because of me, did he?”

Minho sighed: “ I don't know Thomas, stop your overthinking klunk, it's annoying.”

Thomas silenced himself but it took him a painful effort to remain silent. He sat on the edge of his bed -or was it Minho's? He could not remember, Newt was all over his mind.

“You're frying your brain suck face, can smell you from here!”

“I'm sorry, I just feel like this is my fault, I didn't mean to embarrass him... I wasn't even looking at him for fuck's sake! How are girls messing up with our lives so easily?!”

Minho didn't answer. After a few minutes, Thomas couldn't handle the quietness anymore and said a random thing, desperately hoping for a little chat. Minho immediately replied and everything returned back to normal. However, when they went to bed, Thomas could not deny it: he was still thinking about Newt. What in the world happened? Why the hell had Newt left? It was hard to admit, but Thomas didn't find sleep until 3am that night, stupidly “frying his brain” like a “shuck face”.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, this is still pretty short, isn't it? (Tell me if you think I should post longer chapters, I stopped this one here because it kinda felt right but, um, yeah.)   
> Dont hesitate to report any mistake, I apologize if there are too many of them x)  
> Feedback are highly appreciated! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the end of his first week, everything was just as familiar as possible. For the first time in his life, Thomas felt perfectly fine. Except for the whole Newt thing...

He froze. Right in the middle of the classroom. As soon as he spotted the blond, he felt his body going numb and he froze as awkwardness invaded his mind. Then, he remembered where he was and started to walk again to find a seat. Thomas could tell Newt had not seen him enter the room because his eyes were still on the paper in front of him on which he was drawing. Thomas didn't know if he should go and talk to him or just ignore the guy. Both of his options were terrible: he obviously made Newt ill at ease but ignoring him would be pretty rude and would probably hurt the blond too. Thomas found a seat, not far from Newt, and remained there, not doing a thing, sitting still and slowly getting his things out of his bag.

 

He was surprised when a hand landed on his table. He rose his head to meet Newt's dark eyes. They both opened their mouths at the same time:

“I-”

“Hey-”

They both stopped talking and their eyes locked. This really was a shucking weird situation.

“Go ahead,” Thomas encouraged, feeling quite self-conscious.

“I wanted to bloody apologize for yesterday. Minho told me you thought it was your fault I left or something. T'was not, don't worry.”

Thomas did not know what to say. Newt did not really let him any possibility to continue their conversation- it felt like the blond wanted to leave but couldn't, waiting for an answer of some sort. Just by the position of his body or the way he looked at Thomas, the brown-haired man could tell he wanted to escape this conversation and go back to his seat as soon as he could.

“Yeah, well I wanted to apologize too, it was awkward and-”

“And it was not your fault, Teresa just tend to do bloody things like that all the time. Don't worry, you'll get used to it.”

“So what happened to you yesterday? Everything okay?”

Thomas had never thought Newt's body could tense more, but it did. His entiere frame went rigid and Thomas found out the blond was imperceptibly holding his breathe. Newt looked down for a second then rose his eyes, looking away from Thomas.

“Everything's fine.”

Without another word, Newt went back to his seat. Thomas could not stop looking at him, his face one of pure confusion, as he tried to understand what he had said that had this effect on the blond but he didn't find any answer. Thomas stared at Newt and noticed the slight shaking of his hands as he tried to go back to his drawing. The blond let out a trembling breathe and angrily dropped his pen, trying to control the shaking of his body. Thomas looked at him, concern obvious on his face. The boy was definitely not okay.

 

* * *

 

It was weird for Thomas to start a new year in a whole new setting. It felt weird, but at the same time, it felt right. He felt like he was supposed to be there, like he belonged there. Obviously, the fact that he had had his time table before the beginning of the semester had helped. He was not nervous because he had known for weeks which class he had and when. He even remembered where, which was surprising since he used to forget the name of his classmates after a year spent in the same class, back in high school.

He was accomodating quickly and, after a few days, he felt more confident than he had ever thought he would. At the end of his first week, everything was just as familiar as possible. For the first time in his life, Thomas felt perfectly fine. Except for the whole Newt thing...

 

After their little talk, Thomas had never had any other real occasion to approach the guy to try to make things normal between them. Everytime he entered the cafeteria with Minho and sat down with the band to have lunch or dinner, Newt disappeared. Thomas tried not to act hurt, but he actually was. He didn't understand why the blond was avoiding him. Because there was no denying that fact: Newt didn't want to see him, even less talk to him. And he had no idea what he had done to the British blond guy to make him avoid him like that. The whole situation was awkward: Thomas was always hanging out with Minho – who was really a crazy but nice guy – so he happened to be often with Teresa, Alby and the others. But these guys were Newt's friends too and Thomas felt like he was taking Newt's place somehow, slowly and unwittingly exiling him from the group. Thomas tried to tell himslef it was not his fault: Newt was actually the one who hated his guts. Still, the awkwardness remained. And even if Thomas would never admit it, it hurt. He hated people ignoring him. He was a regular human, not a piece of shit. For a moment, he hated Newt for despising him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope this is fine and you'll like it! A little short again, next chapters are a little bit longer until they become... Ur, really longer! I tried not to forget that Thomas just started a new year in a new setting, hope it's not too rushed (I didn't want to talk about that too much, eventhough there will be tiny reminders Thomas is the new kid sometimes! Yeah, I know, might still be a little bit rushed ahah). As usual, don't hesitate to report any mistake :p  
> Feedback are highly appreciated! <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We obviously have the same friends now and we'll have to spend some time together. So how about I stop my klunk, you tell me I'm a shucking piece of shit so we can restart things in a proper way?”

Eventually, Thomas got used to it. To the fact that Newt would never be his friend. To the fact that they would never be close or even have a nice little chat together.

As he absently looked at the ceiling of his room, Thomas tried to stop thinking about the fact that he was slowly going all crazy for nothing. It didn't ruin his mood, but he would've been a liar to pretend it didn't make him feel a little sad to know that the blond avoided him for no reason. He wanted to know Newt better, he couldn't help it. The blond had seemed friendly at first and a few hours later, had decided Thomas was obviously not worth his friendship.

Thomas hated this kind of people who decided who was worth to befriend them, selecting their friends. It had happened to him once and he was not eagger to experience that again. He sould have stopped moping about it, of course, but he couldn't. How in the world was he not worth someone's friendship?! Newt was even friend with Gally, for fuck's sake! That meant a lot about his tolerance because Gally was a grumpy idiot.

However, the fact that the blond was always so secretive, silent and always or escaping when Thomas was in the same room made him really mysterious and Thomas was only eagger to know him better.

It was so frustrating.

Thomas turned in his bed, tired to overthink and to stare at the same spot. Laying on his side, he faced the wall. He instantly regretted his mouvement. He felt completely uncomfortable. With a sigh, he turned again and tried to resume his previous position. Obviously, it turned out to be impossible: Thomas could not stop moving, shifting every now and then, trying his best to reach the comfort he had a few minutes ago.

Eventually, he stopped moving and eventhough his position was not the most comfortable ever, he fell asleep.

 

 

A sudden and persistent ringtone woke him up and he violently opened his eyes. The light had been turned on and Thomas put his arm before his eyes with a sleepy groan.

“What the-” He didn't have any class on Thursday morning, why was his alarm ringing?!

“Wake uuuup Greenie!”

“Minho, what the hell?!”

“It's Thursday Greenie! Know what that means?”

“No idea- not like if I cared anyway. Why did you wake me up?”

“I didn't, you were the one to put that shucking alarm on, yesterday.”

“I did?”

“Yeeeees Greenie, you said you had work to do! Now get up shank!”

“Oh God, right, Artistic stuff to do...” Thomas groaned before actually stepping out of his bed.

“It's gonn' be harder to wake up tomorrow, wait till you see!”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It's Thursday Greenie...” Mihno said with a mischievous smile.

With thath, the Asian boy grabbed his bag, and left the room, a satisfied grin on his face. Thomas threw his head back in his pillow.

 

An hour later, Thomas found himslef in the Art room – obviously dedicated to Art students – where they could have access to some artistic stuff to help them finish their projects. He was on his way to his teacher's office to take the keys and had to walk in front of the Art room to get there.

When he saw the door was ajar, he entered the unlocked room and looked around to see who was there: the teacher had told them the room was always locked, so there had to be someone working in there at the moment. Suddenly, a girl he had already seen in one of his classes came into sight. He could not quite put a name on her face, but he remembered her: it was a good start.

He entered the room, closing the door and got what he needed out of his bag. He sat down on the floor - because he felt a lot more inspired when he sat on the floor – and started thinking about how he was going to do _this_ , when he was going to do _that_.

He was supposed to hand back a whole work based on the subject “re-invent the 20th century american art.” He felt pretty inspired and not inspired at the same time, constantly wondering if _this_ or _that_ kind of project would cross the borders of the subject. At least, he was fully focused on something else than the annoyingly upseting British boy.

He should have known better.

 

An hour later, he was sitting in a cross legged position on a pretty old sofa in the corner of the Art room, trying to picture the last part of his project. His hair was a mess, his eyes stung and basically his whole body was sore. The girl – whose name was Sonya – had left a few minutes ago.

Thomas was currently struggling with his ideas, unable to pick one good stuff to work on for his project, when the door opened. He didn't look up, too focused on bitting his nails and cursing himself to pay attention at his current work, to at least, write down an idea because, shuck, he was going to forget about it the moment he would raise his eyes, but finally, when he couldn't resist the tentation anymore - and because he heard slow footsteps – he gave up and he raised his head.

His eyes locked with Newt's.

 

 

There was this awkward moment when none of them moved, nor breathed for all that mattered. Anger and lack of understanding flooded Thomas' mind, but he didn't lower his eyes. He stared right into Newt's and held his gaze, noticing at the same time the slight embarassment that was gaining Newt's face.

It was so strange: Thomas didn't even know Newt but when they had met for the first time, in his and Minho's bedroom, the guy had not looked so tensed and shy. Thomas had found him nice, immediately taking a liking to his wit, his British accent and his friendly behavior. And now, Newt was a completely different person. Was the guy some kind of Jekyll and Hyde person? Thomas fought the thought back and tried to keep a cold mask.

Nevertheless, at the reminder of the first time they met, Thomas felt a little sad: he was sorry to be such a worthless person, he could not stop himself for wondering what he had done to Newt. He couldn't bear to be ignored.

He would have liked Newt to yell at him, to tell him he was an idiot, anything, but he couldn't handle being ignored. Thomas was the first to break their “staring contest”, completely lost in his thoughts. He resumed his work, keeping quiet as he tried to gain back his focus.

 

He heard Newt move but didn't raise his eyes once, perfectly succeeding in his attempts to pretend he didn't care. Eventhough he obviously did care, and that was the problem. Newt walked pass him, Thomas could see him in the corner of his eyes. When Newt sat down somewhere in front of him, Thomas bit his bottom lip. Hard. He could feel Newt's gaze on him. He dropped his pen and sighed.

“Alright, I can't focus now, thank you. What's wrong? What have I done?”

Newt didn't answer and Thomas saw him tense.

“You're kidding me, right?” Thomas started to loose his self control. He wanted to scream because yes, for fuck's sake, he wanted to befriend Newt. He craved for a talk because he didn't want the blond to reject him. But this was too much: Newt had avoided him for a whole week and now he was openly staring at him, at the worst moment, when Thomas was desperately trying to put his last brain cells together to finish his work. “You're real nice duing a few minutes and then ignore me like I'm not even worth your company. What have I done?”

“Nothing Tommy.”

It stopped Thomas right in his tracks.

 _Tommy_. Nobody had called him Tommy since he had decided he hated it, almost 10 years ago. But there, in Newt's voice, with Newt's accent... It gave the name a whole new dimension. It was terrifying how easily it made Thomas' brain stop.

“'m sorry I bothered you.”

It didn't sound right. The small voice Newt has used to talk showed an obvious lack of confidence and it hurt Thomas more than he thought possible. He didn't know what to answer so he didn't say a thing, he just held Newt's gaze. Thomas had no idea how long they stayed like that, not moving, not talking, just looking at each other, no idea how long they stayed there, in the Art room, completely isolated from the outside world.

He didn't know but he didn't care because he was feeling a little better. Despite their dark radiance, Newt's eyes were soft and comforted Thomas. His tone had not been harsh and eventhough he hadn't said much, Newt's words sounded like an apology.

The blond slowly shifted, breaking the moment. Both boys took back their stuff, ready to get back to their own work, however Thomas didn't feel like working anymore. If he really thought about it, Thomas would have to admit to himslef that he wanted to talk to the blond.

He craved for a talk, something, anything. He had never felt such an urge before, he had never felt such a hunger. It was overpowering and yet, Thomas controled himself and didn't open his mouth. He saw Newt's hands shaking slightly around his pen and, without thinking, he finally said:

“You never bother me.”

Newt didn't raise his eyes, but Thomas was still looking at him. And he saw the small sad smile the blond was failing to hide.

 

 

They eventually had to leave the peaceful Art room to head to their few afternoon classes. Thomas took his time to put his things away, to let Newt some time in case he felt like running away again.

But the Brit slowly tidied up his stuff, following Thomas' rhythm, like he didn't know if he wanted to leave the room as fast as he could or if he wanted to wait for Thomas so that they could go to their class together.

When he headed toward the room, Newt was right behind him and they left together, carefully closing the room. Thomas took the keys to hand them back to the teacher.

They walked in silence, until Newt cleared his throat: “How is your Art project going?”

There were no word to describe how relieved Thomas was: Newt was finally talking to him. It was a casual, simple question and it would lead to a casual conversation but Newt had initiated it. It wasn't amazing, far from that, but Newt had been avoiding him for a whole week, never looking at him, always disappearing and now, he was trying to talk.

If it had been another person, Thomas wouldn't have cared and he would have dropped the matter a long time ago. He would have told the person to “shuck it” and he would have moved on. But this was Newt and, for some reason, Thomas still wanted to know him. So he answered.

“Fine, I guess.” A short and cold sentence. “How about yours?”

“Same.”

They remained silent again and Thomas wanted to resume the conversation, to be his own friendly and funny self again, but for some reason, he also didn't feel like it. And then, suddenly, his heart skipped a beat as he felt a hand pulling at his wrist.

“Greenie, I know I acted like an buggin' idiot, and I'm bloody sorry it made you feel like shit. Now, could you tell me I'm a bloody bastard and you hate me, so we can try to move on and make things less awkward for us?”

Thomas was surprised, even slightly shocked to hear Newt. It seemed Newt was finally acting like the boy Thomas had met a few days ago, using british curses, speaking in a normal voice instead of the shy tone he had been using a few times. His eyes were dark and alert, like if he was waiting to be punched.

“We obviously have the same friends now and we'll have to spend some time together. So how about I stop my klunk, you tell me I'm a shucking piece of shit so we can restart things in a proper way?”

“You're a fucking idiot. Feeling better?”

“Tell me you hate me and I will.”

“I hate you for ignoring me like I'm not worth your friendship when you don't even know me!”

“Is that what you think?” Newt asked, a little taken aback.

“Obviously, I wouldn't have said so otherwise! You're an idiot!”

“Feeling better?”

Newt's smirk was evident as he shamelessly used Thomas' line against him.

“A little better, actually, yeah.”

“So can we restart things properly?”

Relief flooded Thomas as he nodded, determined to make things normal between the two of them.

“That'd be great, yeah.”

“Alright then, nice to meet you, Tommy.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter, yeah! So yeah, Newt finally decided to stop his klunky behavior, so the two of them finally interact for real! That, my friends, can be considered as huge progress! Anyway, I hope this doesn't disappoint! :$  
> As usual, if there's any mistake, I apologize, but feel free to report them!  
> Feedback are highly appreciated ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Nobody told you about Thursday then?”  
> That was enough to make Thomas suspicious this time. He looked at Minho, a little uncertain.  
> “No, since you didn't tell me this morning and I spent my time working on an Art project, I didn't have time to ask around about what's going on on Thursdays.”  
> “Oh, poor shank...”

When Thomas got back to his room at the end of his classes, he was quite happy. Newt had talked to him and had stopped prentending to be this hostile and rude guy he had been the previous week and Thomas had loved the two classes they had had. His teachers were both fascinating but it was also because the period they were studying was one of his favorite: the post WWII art was so full of mysteries and hidden meaning he felt like an explorer, trying to find clues of a past time in just a few lines and colours on a painting.

He loved to try to think like these famous – or random – artists, trying to figure out what they were thinking when they were drawing, was every tiny reference planned or were the people over looking for sign and over interpreting what they saw? What was the intention of the artist? What kind of message did he want to convey? Was he just freeing himself from a too traumatizing experience?

It was maybe a little strange, but these kind of classes made him happy, almost euphoric. Thomas was in a good mood when he entered his room and even Minho's smirk didn't make him feel suspicious.

“So, Greenie, you ready?”

“I told you not to call me Greenie.” Thomas said, dropping his bag near his bed. “What am I supposed to be ready for anyway?”

“It's Thursday man!”

“Yeah, I know, thanks captain obvious.”

“Nobody told you about Thursday then?”

That was enough to make Thomas suspicious this time. He looked at Minho, a little uncertain.

“No, since you didn't tell me this morning and I spent my time working on an Art project, I didn't have time to ask around about what's going on on Thursdays.”

“Oh, poor shank...”

Thomas threw him his pillow.

“Alright, since you're so nice and charming, I'm gonn' tell you.”

With that, Minho turned and, his back on Thomas, he started to look through the clothes that were piled up on his bed without a word. Thomas waited a few seconds. Waited. Waited.

“Minho?!”

“Mmmh?” The Asian boy replied, picking up a T-shirt and shaking his head, throwing it back on the other side of the bed.

“Tell me!”

“Oh, you wanted me to tell you noooow?” Minho asked, fake understanding in his voice.

“Stop it, you idiot, tell me already!”

“Alright, slim it shank. We party every Thursday, that's like, the most amazing night of the week. Well, except for those you have a healthy relationship and have sex every night but-”

Thomas' look might have been priceless because Minho laughed.

“Smile shank, you'll see, it's gonna be amazing!”

 

Minho forced him to change clothes, even when Thomas argued it was quite useless since he was going to be sweaty and ruin two T-shirt in the same day.

“I'm not listening to your crap, change clothes and let's go.”

In the end, Thomas obliged and followed Minho out of their room, just after he put his phone in his jeans' pocket. He let Minho guide him, since he had no idea where they were going but he raised an eyebrow when they ended up in the cafeteria.

“What are we doing here?”

“Can't you stop asking question once in a while?” Minho asked sarcastically.

“No, what are we-”

“Waiting for Teresa, Brenda and Alby.”

“Gally's not coming?”

“He said he had “work to do” as usual.” Minho emphasised the words “work to do” with the gesture. “He came once, last year, but he was completely drunk and I don't think he liked it very much. 'was still fun to see though!”

“Is it gonna be that bad?”

“Why, shank, you've never drunk alcohol before?”

“Trust me, I have, eventhough I usually had no memory of it.”

Minho patted him on the shoulder: “That happened to many of us.”

Except that Thomas was not kidding: he had once drunk so much he ended up swearing he would never touch alcohol again. Easier said than done, but until then, he had resisted. Now... Well, he wasn't so sure Minho would let him leave the party sobber. Screw him, Thomas didn't feel like drinking, he was not going to drink!

He was interrupted by the awful noise of heels clicking on the floor and he heard Teresa arrive before he could even see her. He was not surprised to see the black-haired girl in a pretty dark dress, wearing incredibly high heels – how could she walk with that? That was a real mystery! – but the most amazing was her eyes: so deep and blue Thomas felt like she could read through him in one glare. Brenda was right beside her, her dress mixed with a pair of rangers shoes. Both girls were really beautiful. Alby arrived a few minutes later and finally, Thomas was satisfied Minho had forced him to change clothes: everybody was obviously really ready for the upcoming party!

They left the building and crossed the campus. It was already dark outside but it was not even 10pm yet. Thomas followed as they walked down an avenue and another. They were all talking and Thomas could hear excitation in their voices. He was not too pleased to go, but he didn't say a thing, knowing that he would go with the flow at some point anyway.

When the others stopped, Thomas took a look around: he didn't really know where he was or what to expect. He had been to parties before – a lot actually – before he decided to slow things down and stop waking up with nothing more than a blank memory and his pants. These were the times he got lucky: sometimes, he woke up with no memory, but he woke up naked. Luckily, the girl was always gone when he opened his eyes.

He hated these moments of his life, unable to recall a single memory of what had happened, eventhough he had a pretty good idea of what he had done with... Well, whoever he had done it.

They finally walked toward a house and, without knocking on the door, they entered.

Thomas couldn't help but wince when the hot, sweaty and smoky air hit him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, not so many things happening here, sorry! Needed to set the atmosphere and well yeah, I actually took the whole Thrusday=parties idea from my own university, Thursdays are the days when students generally have massive parties ahah.  
> I hope you'll like this chapter, even with the lack of major event or action!  
> Feedback would be lovely <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Trying to drink yourself sick?” he asked with a smirk.  
> “Still bloody don't know. Didn't drink much of it. Don't wann' get drunk, don't wann' be sobber.”  
> Eventhough Newt had said he hadn't drunk much, Thomas thought his voice was a little too husky and his eyes a little too lost for someone sobber.

The house was not as crowded as Thomas had previously thought but there were a lot of people he didn't know. He didn't really care, but it would have been better if some random girl had not decided to approach him slowly like a hunter chasing his next prey.

They had been at the party for almost an hour and Thomas had talked with a lot of people, each single one of them almost completely drunk. He was himself drinking his third beer, being reasonable as he had promised himself sooner. That was when the girl had decided to throw him kind of sexy gazes. It was so obvious she was planning to put him into her bed that it was pathetic. So when she started to get closer to him, still looking at him like he was some very well-cooked steak – or more like a beautiful salad, she seemed so skinny she probably hadn't eaten a steak in years – Thomas just escaped the main room as fast as he could, trying to avoid her.

He entered the less crowded kitchen and felt relieved when he saw she had not followed him. She would propably find another target soon, but Thomas didn't feel like leaving the kitchen for now, so he leaned against the sink. He spotted a group of people outside when he looked through the window and gulped down what was left of his beer.

He was not a party guy anymore and he really felt like escaping this heavy atmosphere to go take a nice drink in a pub or something. Anything more private would be welcomed because even if it seemed a little odd for most teenagers, he enjoyed a nice and cosy evening with his friends way more than these stupid parties.

Thomas was lost in his thoughts when he saw someone through the window again – someone he instantly recognized. A tall guy with amazing blond hair was standing outside, far from the other group of student, smoking a cigaret. Thomas moved again and without really thinking about what he was doing, he grabbed anorther can of beer and left the safety of the kitchen. He made his way through the crowd of drinking, dancing and sweaty students and took his jacket before reaching the door. He opened it and stepped outside quickly shutting the door behind him.

He slowly walked towards the blond, feeling like this was the worst idea ever, but when he stopped to stand beside Newt, the blond said:

“Having a good time Tommy?”

“I so hope you're kidding.”

Newt didn't say a thing at first and Thomas realized he had a cigaret in one hand and a bottle of whather it was in his other hand.

“Trying to drink yourself sick?” he asked with a smirk.

“Still bloody don't know. Didn't drink much of it. Don't wann' get drunk, don't wann' be sobber.”

Eventhough Newt had said he hadn't drunk much, Thomas thought his voice was a little too husky and his eyes a little too lost for someone sobber.

“How much of it have you really drunk?”

Newt held out the bottle and Thomas grabbed it. Looking at it, he realised it was still full. He looked back at Newt.

“So you're sobber?”

“Yeah...”

He had the same low and lost voice but his frame was tensed and more alert than Thomas had thought at first.

“Something wrong?” Thomas asked, a little concerned by Newt's attitude.

“Just... Thinking...”

Monosyllabic conversations was definitely something he was not fond of, but Newt didn't seem to want to have a proper conversation.

“'m fine Tommy, thanks.”

With that, he took back the bottle and put it on the grass, right next to his feet. Thomas followed the gesture with his eyes and when Newt spoke again, his voice sounded way better:

“Not a party-boy Tommy? Why did ya' escape all the fun?” Newt asked, looking back at the house.

“Unknown girl trying to turn me into her next one night stand.” Thomas shrugged. It made Newt laugh but the boys looked down as he did so.

“Seriously, she was like a shark!” Thomas was glad to see Newt smile at that while slowly shaking his head.

 

They stayed together, standing outside in the dark night, for maybe an hour. Or more. Thomas lose all notion of time while he was with Newt. They hadn't plan to stay together, it just happened. They didn't talk much at the beginning but they finally decided to open the bottle and both took a swallow of what seemed to be whiskey. It burnt Thomas' throat a little, there was no denying that, but the burn and the slight dizziness he felt were nice and welcomed, warming him from the inside.

With the little help of the bottle, they started to feel more at ease and Newt answered Thomas' questions or statements, even asking things sometimes, creating a real conversation. They didn't talk much about the party or anything, they actually talked about Arts.

Both boys were Arts students and they gladly discussed their courses and projects, which period they liked more, who was their favorite artist or their favorite type of Art. Thomas asked if Newt had had good ideas for the Art project he himself had trouble finishing and the blond actually laughed and answered something like “d'you thing I'm gonn' tell you? You'd be able to take one of my idea if you saw how good my looks!”

They drank and talked until Newt's phone vibrated and he took it out of his jeans' pocket and unlocked it. He visibly paled.

“What's wrong?” Thomas asked, a little concerned. He wasn't drunk, but he would be a liar to pretend he wasn't feeling the alcohol working on his brain and it took him too much time to connect things.

“Gotta go Tommy. See ya!” Said Newt quickly, his voice slightly trembling.

A few seconds later, Newt was running down the street like his life depended on it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, chapter 6! I hope this won't disappoint! Not so much happening except for a little Newtmas interaction :)   
> I apologize for any mistake, don't hesitate to report them!   
> Feedback would be lovely! :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, Tom! You okay?”
> 
> “Yeah, fine!”
> 
> “You don't look fine.” She said, insensitive.
> 
> “Wow, thanks, that's very nice of you!” She smiled lazily and drunkenly at him, craning her head.
> 
> “What's eating you Tom?”

Thomas was stunned, stuck in place as he watched Newt disappear. He hadn't drunk  _that much_ , but he still felt like he should have understood what had just happened. But he didn't understand. He stayed there, unable to move or even to connect two cells to make a basic statement.

When it finally hit him that Newt had just left and that he had not idea why the blond had turned so pale in a matter of second. Thomas had no clue but somewhere in his dizzy mind, he knew he had saw fear on Newt's face.

He slowly went back inside, the bottle of whiskey in his hand and his face was one of pure concern. He was feeling a little strange and if he hadn't been in the mood to party when they first arrived here, Newt's quick departure had definitely killed his mood.

He tried to look for Minho but was unsuccessful, groaning internally as he figured out his friend was nowhere to be seen. He luckily spotted amazing blue eyes and he walked towards the girl, gently grabbing Teresa's arm.

“Hey, Tom! You okay?”

“Yeah, fine!”

“You don't look fine.” She said, insensitive.

“Wow, thanks, that's very nice of you!” She smiled lazily and drunkenly at him, craning her head.

“What's eating you Tom?”

“Nothing, I just wanna go back, I'm like super tired and I've drunk too much so-”

“Alright, go back then!”

“Where is Minho?”

“Why d'you care?”

“You know what? Doesn't matter, just- I'm just leaving okay?”

“Yeah, no problem!” She smiled warmly and kissed his cheek. “See ya Tom!”

He sighed and left the house, checking his phone and making sure his keys were in his pocket.

The now cool air made him shiver on his way back to his room. Thomas had not find Minho and he hoped the boy was making out somewhere else than in their room. Thomas still had no idea what time it actually was so he checked his phone once more and tried, this time, to register the information he needed. When he saw 2:16 am, he internally groaned. “ _I'm gonna be so dead tired tomorrow. Shit..._ ”

The way back seemed way longer than when they had all gone to the party and Thomas had no idea if he was actually heading in the right direction. He tried to clear the maze in his head and looked at the building, trying to recognize one of them.

He had almost no idea where he was, trying to remember which street they had walked down just a few hours before. He could not stop to think about how Newt had suddenly left, panic evident on his face and the image of the blond clearly didn't help him to focus on his way back. He crossed a street, feeling like he recognized a few elements of his setting. He might be going in the right direction after all!

He shivered and finally, after what seemed like hours, he saw the first few buildings of the university. At the thought of his bed, he felt relief flooding him.

He entered his building and climbed the stairs quickly, heading to his room. He was getting his keys out of his pocket when he arrived in front of his door. What he saw there made him stop.

Next to Thomas' and Minho's door, sitting on the floor, his knees brought to his chest, was Newt.

 

“Newt?”

The blond raised his eyes as soon as he heard Thomas' voice. He had a look of complete sadness on his face and he seemed completely lost.

“Newt?” Thomas knelt down next to the blond who looked at him with unfocused eyes.

“Can- Can I sleep here tonight?”

“Yeah, yeah of course! Are you- Newt, are you okay?”

“Can we get in, please?” He was almost begging.

“Yeah, sure, sorry.”

He stood up and saw Newt slowly moving too. He quickly unlocked the door and gestured for the blond to step inside. He did, but stopped right after he entered.

“I shouldn't be here.”

“What- Newt what's wrong?”

“I shouldn't be here, I'm sorry...”

“Newt, there is nothing to be sorry for. Are you okay?”

Thomas looked closely at the boy and saw him tense. He seemed to be struggling with himself, opening his mouth right before shutting it close, unable to decide if he was supposed to speak or not. Finally, he didn't say a thing and just dropped his gaze to the floor. His whole body shivered. Thomas felt concern gripping his insides.

“My-My house is locked – came back too late. I'm sorry, I just... Minho told me I could stay here if there was anything-”

“Newt, it's okay, you can stay here.”

Newt's eyes were slowly watering and he clenched his fists, knuckles quickly turning white as he did so. Thomas didn't know what to do: alcohol had probably something to do with Newt's reactions but he knew deep down it wasn't the only reason the blond was in such a state.

“You can take Minho's bed.” Thomas said slowly, his voice gentle.

Newt looked up and Thomas realized his lips were blue: the boy was frozen. He notices his body regular shivering and his chattering teeth.

“You can take Minho's bed. D'you want another blanket?”

Newt was not making a move, standing still in the middle of the room. Gently, Thomas made him walk to the bed, like he would've done with a child who would've just had a nightmare, and made him sit on the matress. Then, Newt lay down under the covers and brought them to his chin.

“Thank you Tommy.” He said in a small voice. “'m sorry.”

“It's okay, Newt. You're okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here is Chapter 7! I hope it won't disappoint, it's a little shorter than the previous ones (yeah it's a little late, I'm like super tired but I wanted to update this ahah). Newtmas here guys!  
> Let me know if there's any mistake or anything ;)  
> Feedback would be lovely :p


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At that precise moment, Thomas' alarm rang. Both boys jumped with surprise and Newt looked down.  
> “I'm bloody sorry you had to see that Tommy. I must really look like a mess right?” He shook his head once more. “First I ignore you, then we talk nicely, I run off for no apparent reason and with no explanation, I show up two hours after behaving like a child who just had a nightmare and now I just have a bloody panic attack...”

Thomas was desperately trying to find sleep, but it seemed impossible to do so with the blond in the bed right next to his. Newt's breathing clearly proved that he was not sleeping either, along with the fact that the blond was shifting position in Minho's bed every five seconds. Thomas' clock showed 04:47 am and both boys had a class at 9:00 in almost 4hours. Thomas tried not to think about that too much because he knew it would keep him from sleeping even more and he focused on Newt's breath instead.

It made him relax at some point and he figured out Newt's breath was even now: the blond had finally fallen asleep. While Thomas remained desperately awake, unable to keep his thoughts away. He didn't know what bothered him most: the fact that he had a class in now 3hours and 31minutes – his clock was mercilessly showing 5:29 – or the fact that Newt had seemed so vulnerable not even an hour ago, acting like a lost child when everything had seemed fine at the party.

He had dozed off for what seemed like a few seconds – dreaming of sharks eating a steak that seemed to be entirely made of salad – when a strange sound woke him up. He tried to ignore it at first, forcing himself back to sleep. He shifted in his bed, turning to face the wall, and brought back the cover up so that it covered his head. However, he could still hear the sound and eventhough it was not that loud, it still bothered him.

He swallowed a groan and curled up in his bed, bringing the cover to him to wrap himself in its warmth. When suddenly, the noise got louder. Resigned, he slowly opened his eyes, stopped himslef from looking at his clock – it couldn't do him any good – and sat up in his bed, focusing as hard as he could on the sound. He blinked quickly several times, yawned and took a look around. That's when he remembered Newt was in his room, sleeping in Minho's bed. He turned his head to look at the mop of blond hair and finally, it hit him.

The sound, it was the sound of teeth chattering. And it was obviously produced by Newt, since they were only two in the room and Thomas was not the one who was doing this sound. He left his bed and it took him only a few steps to make it to Minho's bed: in the blink of an eye, he was kneeling beside Newt and gently shaking him awake.

“Newt- Newt wake up. Newt.”

Maybe it wasn't the best idea Thomas had ever come with, but he didn't really thought about it twice, too sleepy to find a cleverer thing to do. But it turned out that Newt wasn't sleeping.

“Sorry, I d-didn't mean to wake you u-up.”

“Doesn't matter- You okay?”

“Just f-freezing, 'm f-fine, go b-back to sleep.”

“D'you want another blanket?”

Without waiting for an answer, Thomas stood up, went to the closet and opened it, looking for an extra blanket. Although he had asked Newt if he needed one earlier, Thomas wasn't really sure they had any extra blanket. He was not surprised to be unsuccessful in his quest and went back to the bed, apologizing to the freezing British boy.

“D'you want mine?”

“Don't be s-stupid Tommy, I'm n-not gonna take your bloody-y blanket, you'll be the one f-freezing if I do so. Go b-back t-to sleep.”

Newt's lips were blue, his teeth constantly chattering, his whole body shivering badly.

“Alright, then.”

With that, Thomas took Newt's blanket and lifted it up just a little, enough to join Newt under it. He felt the boy tense and soothed him:

“Hey, don't worry, I'm just gonna share my body heat, your teeth chattering keeps me from sleeping.”

Thomas tried to avoid any physical contact with the blond because Newt had become so tense in just a few seconds that Thomas was afraid he was going to have a heart attack.

“Newt?”

“W-What?”

“You might be freezing because you still have your clothes on...”

“Look at you, T-Tommy, are you t-trying to get me n-naked?” Newt replied, an evident smirk in his voice. Thomas couldn't help but laugh at that. The sarcastic side of Newt was back.

“Don't worry, I wouldn't have been so subtle if I had wanted you naked.” Thomas stopped at the sudden realization of what he had just said. “Oh, God, that makes things even weirder right? I'm sorry, it's not what I meant.” Newt's laugh was a sound Thomas loved and for a second, he thought it would be easy to get used to it. “I meant that the more clothes you wear, the coldest you get. That's just a fact, stop laughing at me!”

Newt giggled a little more but seriousness slowly settled back between them.

“This is gonna be bloody awkward...”

“D'you want me to go to the bathroom while you take off your jeans?”

“That'd be cool Tommy.”

Thomas got out of the bed and walked to the bathroom. He waited a minute or so and was about to go back to the room when a sudden thought hit him and he decided to let Newt more time. Newt had been avoiding him for a week for no reason and they had started to talk properly sooner this afternoon. And now, Newt was slightly drunk, scared, slowly getting sick and vulnerable and Thomas was offering him to sleep in the same bed. Okay, it was in an attempt to make him warmer but still, it was a lot in such a short amount of time.

He waited a little more and finally decided to go back to the room. He slowly walked to the bed and, feeling a little bad, he asked:

“Is it okay? I can just give you my blanket if you don't want me to-”

“t's fine Tommy. I'll handle it. Just don't- I'm not the cuddling type so don't- touche me. Please?” Newt was almost begging.

“Yeah, of course. I won't touch you, I swear.”

When he got back under the covers, he noticed Newt had still his shirt on. He didn't say anything, after all, it wasn't because Thomas slept bared chest that everybody had to do the same. Newt's body was tensed and almost radiating coolness. Thomas could feel him shiver and unconsciously, Newt moved to be a little closer to him, not enough to touch him, not relaxing a bit, but at least, he could now enjoy Thomas' warmth.

Thomas heard him breathe heavily and he closed his eyes, lying on his back. Newt's breathing slowed down and Thomas fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

“No, no, no, no, no!”

The voice broke through his dream and Thomas started to wake up.

“Tommy- Tommy please. Tommy, wake-up, please.”

Thomas groaned, currently unable to do anything else, even less to voice a word.

“Tommy, please.”

Thomas became aware of the body next to him. He also felt that he was being kicked in the leg. Violently. He opened his eyes as soon as he heard Newt's shaky voice and a soon as he realised that the blond was panting. Hardly.

“Oh my God, Newt, what-”

“Get off me, please, Tommy, please.”

Newt's voice showed that he was terrified. Thomas realized his arm was wrapped around the blond's waist. He felt immediately bad and adrenaline flooded him. In a second, Thomas rolled back and fell off the bed. He hadn't expected to fall, but at least now he was off Newt.

“I'm sorry, I swear I didn't mean to touch you! I-I'm so sorry... Newt, are you okay?”

More panting answered him. Thomas saw him close his eyes, put one hand on his chest and try to even his breathing.

“Newt, what can I do? Are you okay?”

He saw Newt shook his head, focusing on his breathing. Instincively, Thomas spoke:

“Newt, focus on your breathing. Alright? Focus on your breathing. You're okay, everything is fine. Breathe in. Good, you're okay, you're doing great. Focus on your breathing, it's okay.”

Newt nodded, focusing on his breathing just as Thomas told him. It took the boy quite a long time to calm down and regain a more comfortable breathing. Thomas didn't stop talking to him, trying his best to help the blond, trying to talk him out of his panic attack. Because, even if Thomas had never seen or experienced a panic attack, he knew this was one. And as sorry he was to be the one who made Newt react this way, he pushed back his feelings to take care of Newt.

It took quite a long time, but finally, Newt's breathing came back to normal and the blond let out one last shaky breath. “Oh my God, Newt- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to- I'm so sorry, I-”

“It's my fault,” Newt said, trying to control his voice. “I shouldn't have come here, I shouldn't have-”

“Newt, it's not your fault, I always move when I sleep, I- I never thought-”

“I'm bloody messed up, Tommy, it's not your fault at all. I just- have issues with touching, but I'm okay now.”

At that precise moment, Thomas' alarm rang. Both boys jumped with surprise and Newt looked down.

“I'm bloody sorry you had to see that Tommy. I must really look like a mess right?” He shook his head once more. “First I ignore you, then we talk nicely, I run off for no apparent reason and with no explanation, I show up two hours after behaving like a child who just had a nightmare and now I just have a bloody panic attack...”

Newt's voice was full of bitterness and shame but Thomas found him way too hard with himself: whatever had happened during the last few hours was not the blond's fault.

“Newt?”

The blond raised his head slowly, wringing his hands together.

“It doesn't matter. Any of it. You're okay now. I'm sorry. I'm here with you, no matter what.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, darker chapter, they won't all be like that, it will kind of go back to a lighter note after, so I apologize for this chapter! I still hope it's okay and you'll like it :$  
> Thank you for reading, it means a lot!  
> Feedback would be lovely <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Thanks Newt!”  
> “Don't thank me, it's my duty not to let you starve Tommy.”  
> “You're perfect!” Thomas said just before he took another bite of his donut like his life depended on it.  
> “Bloody Hell, you're so gross when you're eating!”

“D'you need some clothes?”

There was an awkward silence and Thomas knew it was a stupid and weird question, but it didn't feel like letting Newt put back on his dirty clothes was the best thing to do. However, Newt's reaction surprised Thomas: the blond shook his head and then knelt down and fished for something under Minho's bed. Thomas frowned and raised an eyebrow when he saw Newt had brought a bag back from there. The blond opened it and took a pair of jeans, a black shirt and a pair of underwear.

“What the- Are you guys together or something?” Thomas asked playfully.

Newt frowned and his face darkened: “I'm straight.” He said in a harsh and cold tone, like if he was repeating it for the hundredth time. It felt like he had not been saying the words himself, like someone had teared them out of his mouth. A little taken aback, Thomas replied as gently as he could.

“I was just kidding Newt. You can do whatever you want with your life.”

He noticed the small and sad smirk on Newt's face as he spoke but the blond didn't say anything so Thomas went on.

“So why d'you have a bag full of clothes under Minho's bed? If that's not to indiscreet.”

“Tommy, please, don't ask.” Newt said with a reassuring smile. “I just have some bloody clothes here, that's all.”

Again, Thomas fell silent and he just turned his back on Newt, took off his shirt, carelessly dropping it on the floor, and put on a new one. His hands were shaking a little with the lack of sleep and sugar and he realised he craved for anything to eat. Looking up at his clock, he sighed: he would never have the time to stop by the cafeteria to grab food or even something to drink. The single thought of a donut made his mouth water so he pushed the idea away and focused on his current task.

When he finally had all his clothes on – and it was a miracle he hadn't stumbled, he was so hungry and tired he felt like he could loose his balance anytime – he turned back and saw Newt immediately drop his gaze, a deep blushing colouring his cheeks. Thomas knew he was blushing too and the deep silence suddenly felt more uncomfortable than a few minutes before.

“Hey Greenie! Best shucking party ev-”

Minho stopped as soon as he spotted Newt on his bed. His drunk smile disappeared in the blink of an eye and his face slowly turned into a mask of concern. Without paying any attention to Thomas, Minho ordered: “Greenie, leave us a second.”

Thomas obeyed and left the room, passing Minho as he exited his own room. The door closed right behind him, leaving him alone and completely lost in the hallway. He realised he should have taken his wallet to go to the cafeteria but a few steps toward the door told him not to re enter the room: Minho and Newt were obviously talking about something and he didn't even try to listen to what was being said in the room, immediately taking a step back.

He sat down on the floor, his head in his hands, knees brought up to his chest, almost in the same position Newt had been when Thomas had found him. He was glad the blond was now feeling a little better and, at least, Thomas' kind and reassuring words had seemed to have a positive effect on him, because Newt had smiled and thanked him, and Thomas felt and just knew he was sincere. His stomach ached in protest, bringing him back to the present.

He waited in the hallway for what seemed like ages, listening to his now growling stomach, doing his best to not rush into the room, take his wallet and run away like crazy to go buy himself a donut.

At that moment, the door opened and Newt stepped out of the room and into the hallway, offering Thomas a great distraction. He stood up quickly.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, Tommy, don't worry. I'm gonn' grab somethin' to eat, I'm bloody starvin'! See you in a few minutes!” Newt said with a genuine smile.

Thomas' stomach growled back, as if it was the one answering the boy and Newt laughed. Thomas was surprised by how quickly things seemed to have escalated – the blond seemed to feel way better now – but he smiled back, said something like “Yeah, see you!” and went back in his room. There, he found Minho getting off his clothes and before he could even think about something to say to excuse himself to go buy this fucking donut, his Asian friend asked him: “How was the party yesterday? You left before the fun even started shuck face!”

“I was looking for you but you kind of disappeared at some point, didn't you?”

“Well, I met an awesome girl and we decided to have fun, so we visited the bedroom.”

Thomas laughed at that, distracted from his hunger for a few seconds.

“About Newt,” Minho said, his voice serious, “don't feel bad. It happens to him sometimes, no need to overthink or feel bad about what happened. I think you should even feel priviledged.”

“For what? Making him have a panic attack?!”

“No, not for that part shank. But Newt never sleeps when there is other people around. He doesn't even sleep when _I_ am in the same room, and I'm his best friend. I think he trusts you.”

Thomas felt an abnormal warmth in his chest and it quickly spread across his whole body. It was confortable and it made him a little dizzy for some reason, but he loved the feeling. It warmed him up from the inside. Thomas kept smiling lightly, even when he heard his friend say “Or maybe he was too drunk and thought you were his pillow!” Minho was still Minho, no matter what.

 

 

“C'm'on! Shuck, where is that damn thing?!”

“What are you looking for shuck face?”

“My wallet, I'm starving, I need to eat something and in case you didn't notice, we have absolutly nothing in our damn fridge!”

“Wow, someone is getting pissy.”

“No, someone is getting late and is still starving! God, I'm screwed!”

Three minutes later, Thomas was still swearing and cursing like crazy, trying to find his wallet or at least money. Minho had apologized a little sooner for the fact that he had no money either because he was supposed to get some money out in the afternoon, after his only class. When he felt like he couldn't afford to waste any more time on this desperate quest, he grabbed his bag and left the room, his stomach almost aching at that point.

He ran to his classroom and entered it quickly, sitting down on a free seat. His stomach growled once more and he covered it with his hands in a pathetic attempt to make the noises stop. He heard a laugh next to him and raised his head to face Newt. Who was laughing so much he couldn't even voice a word. “I'm dying here, that's not funny.”

Newt wipped a tear away and took a deep breath to regain control of his voice and to stop choking. Then, he handed Thomas a little paper bag and Thomas smelt food before he could even see what was in the bag. He almost dropped the precious thing at the thought of food – food, he needed food right now – but finally settled for tearing the paper bag apart as fast as he could manage with his shaky hands. When he saw the donut and its beatiful and amazing chocolate topping, he almost cried in relief.

“It was the only thing left, I hope it's fine.”

Thomas had already taken a bite and he rolled his eyes in pleasure. He heard Newt's voice: “Well, I'll take that as a positive answer.”

Thomas tried not to smile because he was eating and that would have been disgusting to smile and eat at the same time, but as soon as he swallowed, he let out a sigh of pure contentment.

“Thanks Newt!”

“Don't thank me, it's my duty not to let you starve Tommy.”

“You're perfect!” Thomas said just before he took another bite of his donut like his life depended on it.

“Bloody Hell, you're so gross when you're eating!”

Thomas choked on his donut, pretending to be offended, and tried to swallow the enormous bite he had taken. He probably didn't see it, but it made Newt smile even more and he heard the small snort the blond let out. He was about to finally succeed the “swallow” part of his task and to fight back when their teacher arrived and both boys had to go back to work, Thomas' stomach finally silent as he finished his donut with a sigh of real pleasure.

 

A few hours later, at the end of the afternoon, Thomas found himself with Minho, Newt and Teresa at the cafeteria, where they had been sitting for the last two hours. Newt was silently drawing and writing things in one of his notebooks and Minho was... Minho-ing, since he was constantly blathering about things that didn't really matter: his night with the girl which made him say a considerable amount of stupid jokes, where the next party was going to take place, how his Neurological Sciences' teacher had flirted with him during his only afternoon class.

Teresa was participating in the conversation with what seemed like a genuine interest so Thomas actually let them talk together, slowly and discreetly turning his gaze towards Newt to take a look at what he was doing. Thomas could not see what the British blond was really doing but he allowed himself to get lost in his thoughts, as he often did if he wanted to be honest.

Newt had amazing hair: blond, messy but perfect at the same time, a style Thomas would never achieve with his own hair. Eyebrows furrowed in concentration, Newt's dark eyes were constantly moving as his hand was tracing small patterns onto his notebook. He had his feet resting on a corner of the table, his notebook on his tights and he seemed completely oblivious to whatever was happening around him.

Thomas started to think back to how scared he had been when he had woken up to a terrified Newt but strangely, when he focused on the part when they had shared a bed, he felt his cheeks heat up and he pushed the thought away. Obviously, whenever you try not to think about something the thought remains, and Thomas couldn't escape this one.

He had to admit it, he hadn't slept that much because it had been late and Newt had woken him up twice, but it still felt like he had never had such a peaceful night of sleep in his whole life. He had felt bad to offer Newt to share body heat, but as soon as his brain had gone back to sleep, it had felt perfectly _right_. As if to snap him out of his thoughts, he heard Newt's cold and harsh voice tell him “I'm straight.”

And for a strange reason, it made Thomas feel a little sad. Ashamed and worried to make Newt ill at ease with his intense staring, Thomas looked back at his hands, not so gently playing with his fingers. Why did he feel so wrong to think about Newt this way? The blond had clearly told him he was straight and, even if there was no reason for it, Thomas felt bad about it, like he was a child who wasn't allowed to have presents on Christmas. _“Fucking weird comparison!”_ Thomas thought. _“Stop overthinking, Newt is a friend.”_

“Hearth to Thomas!”

Thomas' thouhghts vanished instantly as Minho's fingers appeared in front of his head, snapping him out of his trance.

“Greenie, you should stop spacing out like that.”

Minho, Teresa and even Newt were looking at him and Thomas guessed they were waiting for some kind of reaction or answer from him.

“Sorry, I was thinking about something for my Arts assignement. What happened?”

“I was asking if you wanted to go to the movies with Teresa and me tonight?”

He was a little tired but he didn't want to spend the whole night thinking in his room and that was probably what was going to happen if he didn't go out, so he just took his chance.

“What d'you guys want to watch?” Thomas asked.

“I was thinking we could go watch that movie about kids trapped into a giantic maze!” Teresa said, not letting anyone answer. Her enthusiasm was quite a thing and Thomas nodded.

“That's okay with me, doesn't seem that bad.”

Minho fought a little more and opposed more resistance and he and Teresa started a heated up argument Thomas didn't quite follow. Finally, Minho sighed deeply and made a vague gesture with his hand, defeated.

“Alright, you won. We're gonna see this maze stuff but it better be good!”

“I'm coming too.”

Minho looked at Newt, his eyes widening for a second before his gaze turned suspicious.

“You said you didn't-”

“Changed my bloody mind, Minho, that happens sometimes, right? That maze thing can be pretty good.”

“When is the screening?” Thomas asked to change the subject.

“In 30mn!” Teresa said her eyes lowered on the screen of her phone, obviously checking the cinema timetables. “We should go now if we don't wanna miss the trailers!” She added while she stood up.

“But it's almost time to have dinner!” Thomas objected.

“Oh God,” Newt laughed, “stop thinking about your stomach for a second.”

“No way, I'm gonna starve during the movie, I only had one real meal today!”

“Slim it Tommy,” said Newt with a smirk. “We'll stop and grab something to eat before, alright?”

“Well, if I have food, that's fine, we can go.”

When he heard Newt and Minho exchange a sigh, he smile as inocently as he could.

“Bloody child.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry I didn't update this yesterday, I had a tough day and I can't write anything when I'm on the train. So, here it is, longer chapter ahah! I hope you'll like it!  
> (Feel free to report any mistake)  
> Feedback would be lovely :p <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Slim it Tommy. I can't bloody focus on this buggin' movie.” Newt said, unconsciously tracing slow patterns on the back of Thomas' hand.  
> Thomas relaxed under the touch and looked back at the screen, feeling safer and cared for. He breathed deeply and positioned himself comfortably, now more able to enjoy the movie. It felt like Newt needed the contact as much as Thomas did.

It was weird and yet still felt completely normal to Thomas to go to the cinema with Minho, Teresa and Newt. They had been hanging out together for a whole week now and Thomas was glad to be able to go out with his friends. He had always been afraid of being alone or rejected but Minho had integrated him so quickly in the band that Thomas hadn't had time to feel alone. Except for Newt's behavior of course. But now, holding a McDonald bag in his hand and heading towards the cinema with his friends, Thomas couldn't care less about how their relationship had started. _“Friendship!”_ he corrected himself quickly.

Teresa seemed to be leading them and Thomas was not surprised to hear her ask them to walk faster.

“We're not gonna miss the bloody trailers Teresa, slim it.”

“I don't want to take any risk alright? Plus, I saw reviews of this movie all over the internet, I want to see it! Everybody says the actors are faboulously talented.” She was as excited as a child on Christmas day. “And gorgeous.” She added quickly.

“Are you shucking kidding me? Teresa, I'm so not listening to your comments on these guys!”

Minho sounded so desperate at that moment that Teresa teased him a little more and Thomas saw Newt roll his eyes.

“These two,” he said with look of conspiracy on his face, “will end up killing each other.”

Thomas looked back at Minho and Teresa and said: “Or they'll end up together.”

“No, Teresa could never handle Minho for more than an hour, trust me, I know him, he's too bloody penible.”

“How long have you guys known each other?”

“A year. Minho and I met last year, on the first day of school or so.”

“You seem to be really close.” Thomas clenched his jaw. He hadn't meant to say it out loud and he absolutely hated the bitterness in his tone as he had said it. Either Newt hadn't heard it or the blond had decided to ignore it because he just shrugged.

“He is kind of my big brother.”

Instantly, it made Thomas feel better. Then he felt bad for feeling better, because there was no reason for feeling better for such a little thing. Newt's personal life was none of his business. He mentally sighed and brought his attention back to Minho and Teresa, still arguing.

When finally they arrived at the cinema, Teresa had won the argument – technically, Minho had forfeited because he was annoyed of her constant blathering – and she was as excited as ever.

“Four tickets for the Maze Runner please!”

The girl who was selling the tickets looked at her with a strange look and then she eyed the boys and smiled. It made Thomas slightly uncomfortable to see how she seemed to be looking at Newt then at him then at Minho like they were just games and she was going to hunt them to bed. They paid for their tickets and when the girl saw Thomas' McDonald bag, she stopped him.

“No food inside the cinema, sorry.”

Thomas felt his stomach protest.

“What, oh please, I'm starving!”

Newt chuckled lightly.

“He's impossible when he is hungry.”

“Sorry love. But since you seem to care so much about it, why don't your friend leave his food here? When your movie's done, you come back, give him his food and come with me, we'll go grab something to eat together, maybe go back to my flat and have a little fun.”

She grabbed Newt's wrist and hands in hers as she said so and the boy jumped. In the blink of an eye, Minho was next to him, and he harshly made the girl go of Newt's hand.

Thomas blinked and swallowed hard, completely taken aback by that girl who had just made such an offer in front of all of them. He hated the look of want he saw on the her face, instantly picturing her as a girl who would drop a man right after she had used him for her own pleasure.

“He's with us and he is not the one who's hungry, thank you very much!” Teresa interrupted, saving Newt and looking at the other girl with a nasty spark in her eyes. Then Newt's words and behavior came back to Thomas' mind: _“I'm not the cuddling type, so please, don't touch me.”_ Thomas looked at his friend and he didn't like what he saw: Newt had paled and his hands were slightly shaking. Minho gently grabbed Newt's arm and took him to the hallway leading to the projection rooms.

That snapped Thomas out of his trance and he dropped his McDonald bag in the closest bin like he didn't care when actually he was regretting he hadn't eaten it on his way to the cinema. He had to pass before the girl to enter the hallway and she looked at him with a smirk and a superior look on her face.

She was wearing too much make up, something Thomas hadn't realized until that moment and it disgusted him so much he couldn't even find a word to describe it. He found Teresa waiting for him in the hallway, a look of exasperation on her face. She was obviously annoyed and kind of angry because Thomas heard she was slowly saying the word “slut” under her breath. He looked at her and that's when it hit him.

“Where are Newt and Minho?” He asked casually.

“Went in the projection room. Minho is pretty upset and they both needed to calm down a little...”

Thomas nodded and, after a few seconds, he gestured towards the door, unable to control himself. He wanted to make sure the blond was okay.

“So, are you going in or are we waiting here like two idiots?”

“Ohhh, someone's getting pissy too...” Teresa said in a cold voice.

Thomas hadn't planned to let so much bitterness poison his voice but he couldn't help it. The slow burn he was feeling in his chest made him want to scream and smash something. He entered the room just after Teresa, holding the door for her to go first.

It was a really small cinema and there was not so many people in the projection room. He quickly spotted Newt, sat on a seat, his arms crossed over his chest, stubbornly looking at an invisible spot in front of him and Minho, right beside him, looking just like his British friend. Thomas sat right beside Newt on a free seat and, at Minho's great displeasure, Teresa sat down next to him but they all remained silent, like if Minho's cold attitude and Newt's nervousness were poisoning their moods too.

The blond's eyes were dark and if he had raised his gaze just a for a second, Thomas would have seen the stormy expression on his face. Anger flooded Thomas again, hitting him powerfully this time and he tried to think about something else than this girl asking Newt to have sex with him, tried not to think about Newt having sex with her, and he let his eyes wander everywhere in the room, desperately trying to focus on something else.

The only thought that wasn't Newt in his head was about food. He wasn't even that hungry now, like if that girl, with all her make up and perfectly bitchy attitude, had given him nauseas. He felt more like throwing up than eating. Newt took a slow and deep breath and Thomas heard the shaking the blond was probably trying to control. Thomas finally turned to face Newt, concerned:

“Newt, you okay?”

Newt quickly nodded, clearly showing Thomas he didn't want to talk right now. Thomas sat back on his seat, knowing that Newt wasn't really that fine, because their meeting with this girl seemed to have a terrible effect on him. Thomas shifted in his seat once more, clenching his jaw hardly. He felt like screaming and he clenched his fists. Then, when the tension started to become too unbearable, the trailers started. Thomas stared at the screen and tried to escape the feelings that were slowly settling in him. It didn't work.

He played – not so gently – with his fingers during a good part of the movie, shifting in his seat every two seconds, feeling like he needed to run and run until he was drained of emotions. Minho elbowed him to make him stop moving. It calmed Thomas for a few minutes before he started shifting again, unable to keep his nervousness for him. His stomach was trying to play hide and seek in his body and he felt almost sick for a moment.

His behavior even made Newt sigh and look at him. The first kind movement or attention Newt had had towards Thomas since they had payed for their tickets. Thomas' fingers were almost aching from the constant activity and he almost jumped out of his seat when he felt something warm and reassuring on his hand.

“Slim it Tommy. I can't bloody focus on this buggin' movie.” Newt said, unconsciously tracing slow patterns on the back of Thomas' hand. Thomas relaxed under the touch and looked back at the screen, feeling safer and cared for. He breathed deeply and positioned himself comfortably, now more able to enjoy the movie. It felt like Newt needed the contact as much as Thomas did.

 

 

“It was so cool, right?”

“If you say so.” Minho replied in a flat tone.

“Thomas? It was amazing right?” Teresa asked.

“Yeah, it was kinda cool.”

“Kinda cool?! Come on, this Dylan guy is fucking adorable! He is so cute and he seems so lost during the movie, always trying to do the right thing and just so scar, it just broke my heart! And that scene at the end was just so horrible, his cries... And this British blond was just so freaking amazing! Have you seen his eyes Thomas? They are quite as dark as Newt's! Oh my good this movie was so cool.”

“If you say so.” Minho repeated in a flat tone.

They were standing up to leave their seats and Teresa's blue eyes were sparkling with admiration and what seemed like love. They headed towards the door and exited the projection room. Thomas had, at that point, completely forgotten about the girl from before thanks to Newt's fingers playing on his hand during the movie, but she quickly made a reapperance in his thoughts when they were about to exit the cinema.

“Hey Blondie!”

Thomas turned his head like he had been burnt and he quickened his pace.

“Don't run away love! C'mon don't you want us to have a little fun?”

“No!” Thomas just growled his answer right at the same time Teresa screamed hers angrily. “Shut up now!” She yelled as they left the building. “Sorry she was so annoying.” Teresa added with a smirk as she rolled his eyes lightly.

Again, Thomas felt the slow rise of agonizing anger poison his thoughts like a vicious snake. Newt seemed better now that they had left and a lot less shocked and affected. Minho had calmed down too and this was actually a good thing because he was kind of scary when he was upset. _“He is kind of my big brother.”_ Newt had said.

“So Tommy,” Newt approached him to walk by his side. “What about we go back to McDonald to grab something to eat for real this time?”

The blond had a smile on his face but Thomas could see in his eyes that he was still not that fine. He really wanted to do something to make him feel better. Anything.

His hands started to shake again and this time, his vision became blurry and his head was spinning. He completely lost track of where he was and stopped, shutting his eyes closed until, slowly, everything went back to normal, the wave of sickness fading away.

“You okay Tommy?” Asked Newt, worried. Minho and Teresa had stopped too.

“Yeah, I think so. I think I need to eat something, tough. Like right now.”

“What is it?” Minho asked. “What's happening to you?”

“I need to eat, I think I'm doing that stuff when you don't have enough sugar in your blood.”

“Alright, I'm gonna help you walk to the nearest restaurant.”

Too strong emotions, not enough food and not enough sleep had finally made Thomas' body give up. That must also be the reason he felt like crying and shouting at the same time. That must be on of the reasons his blood was boiling in his veins. One of the reason he wanted to pass out or run until he couldn't stand anymore.

Minho held him and the four of them walked to the pizzeria across the street. Newt's hand was on Thomas' shoulder.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here we go, chapter 10! I wanted to update this yeasterday but it was really late and I was tired and I felt like the chapter wasn't that good, so I decided I would re-write some parts today! I hope it's fine and you'll like it :)  
> I realized I've never thanked you but your kudos, comments and everything really please me! <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Then why don't you go to his place?” Thomas suggested as he stood up and walked to Minho, really worried for Newt at that point.  
> “It'd only make things worst, alright?!” Minho lose all control of himself, taking Thomas' shirt collar in his hands and pushing him up against the wall. “It wouldn't help at all, shuck face!”  
> Thomas was holding his breath, taken aback and Minho's face slowly lose his angry features, softening as he let go of Thomas.

The first thing Newt did when they arrived at the pizzeria was to take a cigaret out of his pocket. He put it into his mouth and produced a lighter from his one of his jeans' pocket. Thomas saw him make a vague gesture to the restaurant as he said: “Get inside, I'll come as soon as I'm done smoking.”

Minho nodded and Teresa opened the door so that Thomas and the Asian boy could enter. A little weak on his legs, Thomas was glad Minho was making sure he wouldn't fall. They sat down at a table and from where they were they could see Newt slowly pacing as he was smoking.

Thomas found himself staring at the blond as he saw him took the cigaret back to his lips. Then, a waiter arrived and Thomas focused on what he was going to eat because he shaky hands were still there to remind him he should put some food in him. Even when he looked at the menu, he could still see Minho in the corner of his eye, and he knew the boy was protectively eyeing Newt every two minutes.

Five minutes later, Newt came back and sat down before Thomas. He didn't even smell tobacco and he took a menu too, staring at it with attention.

“Have you made your choice?”

They all took the same pizza and a coke and the waiter came back a few minutes after with the drinks.

“Drink, Tommy, it'll put some sugar into you at least.”

Thomas did as he was told without hesitation, sipping down half of his coke in the blink of an eye.

“Feeling a little better?” Teresa asked, playing with her glass.

“Still starving so no.”

“It'll be better when you'll bloody have real food to chew on, don't worry.” Newt said with a smile.

“I'm starving too,” Minho groaned, holding his stomach. “Stop this terrible waiting-for-your-food stuff, it's torture!”

“Yeah, I'm kinda starving too. I feel like I could eat a whole pizzeria by myself!”

“Does that include the pizza maker?” Minho asked with a dangerously sarcastic voice. He was talking about sex, it was obvious and Teresa smiled, playing Minho's game.

“Maybe, maybe not. If they make me pizzas, I may consider it.”

“Teresa, you're helpless!” Newt laughed.

“As helpless as Minho and his shitty sense of humour, you're used to it.” Teresa replied, defending herself. “Plus, you know I was kidding. By the way Minho, you're the only one who likes to talk about sex with food related terms, so stop it, it's disgusting.”

Minho smirked and raised an eyebrow: “As you wish. But you'll miss my comparison at some point, trust me.”

The pizza arrived and prevented Minho and Teresa from entering another argument again. Newt and Thomas looked at each other, thinking the exact same thing: their friends were totally going to end up together. Then, Teresa told him to eat his pizza because he was the one having hypoglycemia and he needed to eat. His hands slightly shaking, Thomas tried to cut a slice of his pizza and, after a little fight with it, he finally ate. It didn't make him feel better instantly but he took another bite again and again, until he had eaten half of his plate. Then, he sighed in contentment and noticed that his hands had stopped trembling and that basically his whole body was not aching anymore.

Newt looked at him with a disgusted look. Thomas blushed a little because, yes, he was starving and eating like an animal, but he took a look around him and saw that Minho, Teresa and even Newt were just the same. Eating with their fingers like this was the last meal they would ever have, they were all gross.

But as they resumed talking while finishing more slowly the last bites of their pizzas, Thomas could not remember the last time he had felt so good.

 

 

Thomas' alarm started to ring. Exasperated, Minho almost screamed: “What the Hell, THOMAS?! Why is that shucking thing on?! It's Saturday for God's sake!”

Thomas groaned too, still half awake, half sleeping and he tried to shut the alarm, blindly looking for his clock radio. He couldn't reach it from where he was so he had to turn on his stomach and, holding himself on his elbows, he finally stopped the awful ringing , looked absently at what the clock was displaying and let his face drop back on his pillow.

Then, like a deer caught in headlights, he raised his head quickly and looked back at the clock. It showed 11:46am.

“Minho, it's almost noon!”

“And so what?”

“We're not gonna stay in bed all day Minho, wake up.”

“Why not?”

Thomas nodded slightly. “Yeah, why not.” With that, he went back to sleep.

 

 

Thomas woke up in the middle of the afternoon, at 4pm according to his clock. Minho had been long awake since he was on his computer, on the little table that was in one of the corners of the room. He was typing something so quickly Thomas couldn't help but wonder why Minho was so angry at his computer.

“Hey Minho, everything okay?”

“Yeah, shuck face, everything fine.” Minho said, typing angrily on his keyboard.

“That's like the biggest lie I've ever heard you say. And you talk a lot.”

Minho sighed and turned back on his chair to face Thomas. “Alright genius, I'm typing one of my assignement and I'm waiting for a text that's not coming.”

“Who's supposed to text you?”

“Newt.”

It made Thomas way more attentive suddenly. He sad up on his bed, left the warmth of the blanket and put his feet on the floor.

“And why is Newt's non-texting upseting you?”

“Because.”

Thomas looked up at Minho, body a little tense. “Because s'not an answer Minho... Is he okay?”

Thomas tried not to be too concerned and worried but Minho's behavior was really making him nervous, like something bad was happening. The Asian boy kept staring at his screen, his hands unmoving over his keyboard. He seemed so lost in his thoughts and Thomas could almost see a war breaking out in Minho's brain for how much his face was tensed, worried and angry at the same time.

“I don't know...” Minho admitted after a moment, lowering his gaze. “I have no fucking idea.” He spilled out, bitterness and anger in his voice.

Minho stood up violently and started pacing in the room, almost trembling with rage.

“Then why don't you go to his place?” Thomas suggested as he stood up and walked to Minho, really worried for Newt at that point.

“It'd only make things worst, alright?!” Minho lose all control of himself, taking Thomas' shirt collar in his hands and pushing him up against the wall. “It wouldn't help at all, shuck face!”

Thomas was holding his breath, taken aback and Minho's face slowly lose his angry features, softening as he let go of Thomas.

“I'm sorry. It's just that... He is not experiencing the best right now and I just want to be sure he is okay.” He said, trying to regain control of himself again.

“It's okay, Min. We should go out, go to the grocery shop to buy some food. It'll help you calm down and keep you busy while you wait for an answer okay? No need to stay here, you'll go crazy.”

“Yeah, right. Good idea, Thomas. We should do that.” Minho agreed, his eyes a little lost.

In a few minutes, Thomas took a quick shower, brushed his teeth and dressed up. As he grabbed his leather jacket to put it on, he stopped. The smell was different. It smelled like Newt and Thomas remembered the blond had put on Thomas' jacket when they had left the restaurant because it was cold outside and Thomas had had a hoodie so he wasn't that cold. Now, with Newt's scent all over his jacket, he couldn't help but let worry flood him too.

Minho and Thomas walked to the nearest grocery store and started to do their shopping, half focused on their task. Completely unfocused if they had to be honest. Minho's phone was in the dark-haired boy and they wandered aimlessly in the store during at least half an hour before they really started to look for what they needed.

They had been in the grocery store for almost an hour now and it was now almost 6pm. And finally, Minho's phone made a little sound and vibrated and the Asian boy unlocked his screen almost immediately: “Is it Newt?” Thomas asked nervously, almost dropping the stuff he was carrying in his arms. “Yeah...” said Minho as he showed him the text. On the screen, Thomas could read:

“ **Could be worse, don't worry. Won't be able to text more though, see you on Monday.”**

Was it really necessary for Thomas to say that he and Minho had spent a terrible week end? None of them really knew what to do so they worked almost all week end to make time fly faster. Was it really necessary to point out how pointless it was to hope for something like that to happen? When Monday finally arrived, Thomas hadn't even finished his art project and Minho had completely dropped the idea to even write anything more for one of his psycho essay.

 

 

Thomas' classes started at 8am but when his alarm rang, he was already fully awake. He ate cereals but he wasn't angry so he decided not to force himself and he went to the bathroom to get ready. It took him 10mn. But Thomas didn't feel like waiting in his room and he left, grabbing his bag and slowly closing the room behind him. He kind of knew Minho was not sleeping anyway, but his classes only started at 10am and he hadn't slept a single time for the whole week end, so Thomas guessed he wanted to rest a little at least.

Thomas eyed his phone: 7:17am. First time in his life he was going to be that early to go to class! He still had more hallway to walk through but he tried to slow down his pace nonetheless and failed totally, like if his brain was telling him that arriving earlier would make him see Newt faster. What a dumb idea! But Thomas needed to make sure the blond was okay. _“Not experiencing the best.”_ It made Thomas a little nervous because he had no real idea what that trully meant. He hadn't pushed Minho, it would have been stupid, plus, angry as he had been, the boy would have ended up killing Thomas.

He arrived in front of his classroom and blinked. He hadn't realized he had walked so quickly. He tried to open the door and it opened slowly but, after a quick check out, Thomas realized nobody was here yet. He cursed under his breath and turned around to go back from where he was coming, determined to walk a little more to calm himself.

He had had the worst idea ever. Staring blankly at his hot paper cup in his hand, Thomas told himself for what seemed like the hundredth time that he shouldn't never have bought a coffee. His nerves were already bad enough and yet, he just _had_ to add caffeine to the equation! He sighed at his own stupidity and went back to his classroom when his phone displayed 7:41am.

He entered the room this time and spotted Newt's blond hair. His heart beat faster for a second before he calmed himself down. He sat down on the chair next to Newt.

“Hey!”

“Hey Tommy.” Newt said with a low and heavy voice, not even raising his head from his notebook. It made Thomas froze.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, bloody perfect.”

“Newt, cut off the sarcasm thing, please.”

“I'm fine Tommy. Seriously.” Newt was still not looking at him and it was maddening.

“Newt-”

“So what, now you care?!”

Newt had raised his head but he was looking right in front of him, not facing Thomas, who was shocked and didn't even pretend not to be hurt.

“Yes, of course you idiot! I'm worried because we're friends!” It sounded wrong when he said it. That had Newt dropping his gaze once more.

“Bloody perfect. Bloody perfect.”

Thomas didn't know what to say so he tried another approach. “Don't get mad, I was just worried about you.”

“Bloody perfect.” Newt repeated.

Thomas was exasperated and hurt. He took his bag and stood up, going to the other side of the class, his heart beating faster, his throat tightening painfully. He walked pass Newt and went to sit on the blond's left, a few seats away. When he looked in Newt's direction again, he couldn't help but let out a small whimper: that side of Newt's face was covered in bruises and cuts.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Chapter 11 here we go! I'm so thankful that you read this story, it really means a lot, and thank you for your kudos and comments and yeah, I'm super happy! <3  
> I hope this chapter won't disappoint, lovely and caring Newtmas may finally appear in the next chapter... ;)  
> Feedback would be lovely!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh my God Newt-” His voice broke.  
> “It's all your fault, being around all the time, bloody adorable and funny and nice and bloody handsome and- You idiot!” Newt's voice shook and broke. “It's all my fault...” He sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little mention of "violence" if I could say. Nothing graphic or detailled though.

Thomas stood back up as if he had been struck by lightening. Newt's eye was bruised and he had a deep cut just under it. His jaw was a dirty mix of black and purple and his cheek was covered in small cuts and little scratches. Shocked, Thomas took a step forward, almost scared. His stomach had turned into lead and it felt difficult to make each step, like his legs were not attached to his body.

Thomas sat down on a chair next to Newt table, close enough so that he could touch him. He took Newt's hand: “Come with me.”

“No, I'm fine.”

“Newt, please, if you don't wanna talk to me, please let me take care of you, let me take you to Minho.”

“Minho will see this soon enough, don't worry.” Newt said, his voice harsh again.

“Newt, please, come with me.”

“Tommy, we're supposed to have a cla-”

“Do I look like I care?” There was so much care in Thomas' eyes that Newt swallowed heavily. The hand that was resting on Newt was firm and showed that Thomas didn't have any intention to let go of Newt.

The blond tensed and Thomas pulled at his hand, pulling Newt up. The blond quickly grabbed his bag before Thomas had him standing up, his hand still in Thomas'. He didn't try to make him let go of his hand so Thomas only dragged him and both of them exited the classroom, Newt a little reluctant. Thomas took him to the first place he could think of: the toilets. _“Great Thomas, you're so original and elegant.”_ He thought to himself.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Newt started to shout again, like if he was forcing himself to be angry and mean again. Like he had spent the way to the toilets thinking about how he should react to Thomas' attitude. Thomas could see controversial emotions fighting on his face.

“What d'you think you're bloody doing uh?! Saving the world like a bloody Super Man? 'Cause that's not quite working!”

“Trying to understand. I told you I was here for you right? Well, surprise, I was not lying.” Thomas' voice was not as angry as Newt's, he was hurt, concerned and mad at the simple thought that the blond was injured and hurting. “What happened?”

“I fell and face-planted.” Newt said sternly like Thomas was the most stupid person on Earth.

“We both know that's not what happened.” He was slowly starting to loose it again, way too worried for Newt.

“Oh, so what are you now, a psychic?” Newt's angry smirk had certainly been painful because it disappeared quickly.

“Newt,-” Thomas approached him but the blond took a step back as Thomas moved forwards, the complete opposite of how he had been acting with Thomas until then. He tried to reach for his hand, to make him look at him but Newt brought back his hands to his chest like he had been burnt.

“I'm straight! Stop bloody touching me!”

It was Thomas' turn to bring back his hand like he had been burnt. He swallowed heavily and took a step back. Newt's eyes seemed to express regret, like he was silently and unconsciously begging Thomas not to believe a word he had just said, but his face remained angry and tortured. All Thomas could settle for was: “Oh really, well that's amazing, congrats!”

“Don't laugh at me!” It was Newt's turn to loose it for real. He wasn't pretending to be mad, he was beyond anger. “Don't laugh at me when it's all because of you!”

“Because of me?! What have I done?!” Thomas shouted back.

“You're being you!”

“What do you want me to be? I am me, Newt, I can't act differently!”

“That's the reason why it's your bloody fault! Being all nice and smily and touchy!”

“What's wrong with that?!”

“I am straight you idiot! I have to be!”

“You have to be?! What the Hell are you talking about Newt?! You can be whatever you want!”

“No! No, you don't get it!” Newt's eyes were shining with pain and he was yelling at Thomas so hard it echoed in the small room. “I have to be straight, you bloody idiot, it's written all over my body for fuck's sake!” He finally screamed. As he did so, he took the hem of his shirt and lifted it up a little and what Thomas saw there made him loose his breath. His own eyes filled up with tears. On Newt's skin, on his abdomen, was carved something. The handwritting was not perfect but before his sight had been blurred with tears, Thomas had clearly been able to read the word “STRAIGHT”.

“Oh my God Newt-” His voice broke.

“It's all your fault, being around all the time, bloody adorable and funny and nice and bloody handsome and- You idiot!” Newt's voice shook and broke. “It's all my fault...” He sobbed.

“Newt, it's not your fault...” Thomas said in a broken voice, trying to fight back the tears. Newt needed him, he couldn't be weak.

“I smelled like you.”

“Wh-” Then it hit Thomas before he had even finished his thought. The jacket. It was Thomas' jacket and Newt had worn it on Friday. When Thomas had put it on on Saturday, it had smelled like Newt. So Newt had had Thomas' scent all over him on Friday. And eventhough Thomas could not quite see the whole picture yet, what he was thinking was not pretty.

“I smelled like you. I guess I deserved it. Going home with your bloody scent all over me.”

Newt's back connected with the wall and he let himself fall to the ground, his knees brought up to his chest to protect himself.

Thomas' whole body was shaking and he couldn't feel it, his whole being completely disconnected. He took a hard step forward and when he saw that Newt was not reacting to his coming closer, he leaned back against the wall too and sat down next to Newt. He didn't look at him yet, just stared blankly at the wall in front of him without really seeing it.

Then, slowly, Thomas spoke again, his voice a little husky: “Did your father do that to you?”

Newt didn't reply at first. He was also absently looking at the wall. Thomas a quick look at him, glancing in Newt's direction for a second. The blond didn't seem on the verge of tears anymore but he was in an even worst state: he looked ashamed, disgusted of himself and completely defeated. He didn't even nodded, didn't even make a move to answer Thomas' question but Thomas knew Newt's silence meant yes.

“Is it because-”

“Yes, Tommy, it's because I'm gay.” Newt said, his voice full of a dark sarcasm.

That had Thomas looking at him for real, shifting his body a little so that he could see the blond's face. Newt looked at him too and they found themselves locking eyes. They stayed like that for a long time, lost in each other's gaze, Thomas slowly drowing in Newt's dark eyes. Time seemed to be frozen. Newt's face was full of pain and wonder and Thomas wanted to make all these feelings disappear.

And then, slowly, as if Thomas was going to vanish in the blink of an eye, Newt leaned in. It took many seconds before Thomas could feel Newt's warm breath on his face but he felt his whole body warm up at the feeling. Trembling a little, not quite sure if he was doing the right thing, Newt brought his lips to Thomas' in a small caress, a ghost touch. It was slow and deliberate, delicate and full of wonder, like Newt was asking for permission or like he was afraid Thomas would reject him.

But Thomas didn't, neither did he rush the kiss. He let Newt's lips caress his own, his stomach completely messing up with him. Thomas' body felt light and warm and it was because of Newt. It was thanks to Newt. The blond brought a shaky hand to Thomas' neck and he rested it here, slowly tracing little patterns on the sensitive skin. Newt deepened the kiss a little bit, gently pulling Thomas closer, sealing their lips with a little more confidence. Both boys had closed their eyes at that point and Thomas shifted slighly to make their position more confortable.

This touch was the sweetest thing Thomas had ever experienced. He didn't rush anything, he let Newt control the kiss because it was what the boy needed. Thomas responded to the kiss, caring and devoted, following Newt's slow and loving pace. He raised his hand and slowly touched the back of Newt's neck, running gently his fingers in the blond hair. Newt slowly broke the kiss but he didn't remove his hand from Thoma's neck. He didn't do anything, didn't really move backwards. He stayed close to Thomas' face, his eyes half-closed, his breathing uneven. Thomas could still feel Newt's lips on his and it maybe had to do with the fact that the blond's lips were still close enough to caress his.

“Bloody Hell...” Newt whispered on Thomas' lips, making him shiver.

And, without warning, Newt took back Thomas' lips once more, just as gently and slowly as the first time. It wasn't passionate, it wasn't needy, it wasn't the best circumstances. But it was a beautiful act of love, an amazing proof that Thomas cared about Newt. And when they pulled back, Newt had a sad smile on his face but his voice was soft and gentle as he spoke.

“Tommy... I-... That-... Bloody Hell. I knew I would get addicted to that.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Real Newtmas here, I really, really hope it won't disappoint, I am really nervous for this chapter! :$  
> It's quite shorter too, but I felt like it was right to cut it here.  
> Thank you so much for your kind comments, that's amazing! Feedback would be adorable, don't hesitate to tell me what you think of this chapter! <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I- I kissed you...”  
> “I know Newt...”  
> Newt whole body shivered and he closed his eyes. “I want to do it again.”  
> “Then do.”  
> Newt opened his eyes slowly and Thomas saw tears in his eyes. “You don't think I'm disgusting?”

Thomas and Newt headed back to Thomas' room as soon as they were sure Minho had left it to go to his morning classes. When they arrived to the door, Thomas put his ear on it and listened carefuly. He didn't want Minho to be there for once, he wanted Newt to feel free to tell him whatever he wanted. They entered the room and Newt stood awkwardly in the middle before Thomas smiled and gestured vaguely to tell him he could sit wherever he wanted. The blond sat on the edge of Thomas's bed. Silence flooded the room.

“That's why I avoided you at first, you know. Because I thought we could be friends and when Teresa made that comment about you looking at me I-... I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my distance if we were together all the time. Then I saw those eyes of yours and I thought I could give our friendship a try. I'm sorry I did that.”

“Stop apologizing Newt.”

“I know I made you feel like shit.”

“Stop. I'm fine as long as you are. Stop apologizing please.”

“Sorry.” Newt replied with a playful smirk that left his face as soon as it had appeared on it. Newt yawned, unable to prevent himself from showing how tired he actually was. He winced a little at the pain: Thomas guessed his jaw was as painful as it seemed to be. He looked at the blond and realized Newt's spared eye had shadows under it. He couldn't help but wonder if Newt had gotten some sleep in the last few days. With the lack of text response and Minho's worry now explained, Thomas was trying not to think about what Newt had gone through during the week end because of him.

“Are you tired?”

“A little.” Newt shrugged. “Haven't been sleeping for real for quite a long time.”

“I'm sorry.” Thomas blurted. “I've never thought-”

“Tommy, it's not your fault. Please.”

“You should get some sleep. You look like you can collapse any time.”

He gently put his hand on Newt's shoulder and caressed it lightly. Newt shivered under him but didn't say a thing, relaxing under Thomas' touch. It didn't take long for Newt to lean into the touch and Thomas wrapped a protective arm on his back. Newt jumped a little at that. Thomas immediately took his arm off Newt: “Sorry, not the cuddling type.”

“Put it back, felt good.”

Minho's words came back to Thomas' mind. “ _Newt never sleeps when there are other people around. He doesn't even sleep when I am in the same room, and I'm his best friend. I think he trusts you._ ” At that reminder, he felt his heart beat faster and, trusting his instinct, he put his arm back around Newt's waist. Newt relaxed completely and Thomas kissed his forehead.

“Sleep.” He whispered.

“Tommy-”

“D'you want me to go so that you can rest? I don't really feel like I want to see you have a panic attack.”

“No, please don't go...” Said Newt in a sleepy voice. “I don't wanna wake up alone.”

Thomas got off the bed and sat down on the floor next to the bed. Without Thomas to rely on, Newt's body gave up and the blond slowly fell into the bed. Thomas ran his fingers through Newt's amazing blond hair and the blond hummed in satisfaction then he groaned, ashamed.

“Newt, you're fine. Get some rest.”

It took quite a long time for Newt to fall asleep. Thomas could still hear his uneven breathing. He never stopped touching his hair though and Newt finally turned around and faced Thomas who was still sitting on the floor. His eyes were half open and he looked as vulnerable as he had when Thomas had found him the night of the party. Thomas didn't dare to say anything because he didn't want to ruin Newt's sleepy state, but the blond obviously felt like talking.

“Could you-” His voice broke and he bit on his lower lip, ashamed. He looked like a lost child and Thomas encouraged him to talk by humming in response. He was looking at Newt and he saw him raise his eyes slowly to meet Thomas' gaze again. “I can't sleep without holding on something...”

“D'you need an extra pillow?” Thomas asked, knowing that Newt would have a panic attack if he was sleeping with him because Thomas _was_ a cuddler.

“Yes that would be perfect.”

Thomas stood up and went to his closet, opened it and took a smaller pillow. He could have just taken Minho's but he was uncomfortable with the idea of Newt sleeping with something that smelled like Minho. He went back to the bed and gave Newt the pillow. The blond took it and held it close, inhaling deeply.

“Better?” Thomas asked, tracing small patterns on Newt's left arm.

“Better. Thank you Tommy.”

With that, Newt closed his eyes. A few minutes later, he fell asleep. Thomas listened to Newt's peaceful breathing and he felt his own eyes close slowly.

When Thomas woke up, his whole body was sore. He blinked and realized he was on the floor. Why the Hell was he on the floor? He listened carefully and heard the noise that had woken him up. Newt was on his bed, holding on the pillow like it was the only thing that was anchoring him to life. Immediately, Thomas' brain caught up with the situation and he rose from the floor.

“Newt, Newt, are you okay?”

Newt clenched the pillow harder. Thomas didn't know if he was supposed to approach the blond or not but he took a decision and joined him on the bed. Newt was lying down on his back and Thomas did the same, except that he was lying on his side to look at the blond.

“I- I kissed you...”

“I know Newt...”

Newt whole body shivered and he closed his eyes. “I want to do it again.”

“Then do.”

Newt opened his eyes slowly and Thomas saw tears in his eyes. “You don't think I'm disgusting?”

It broke Thomas' heart, to see the blond's feelings change so fast, to see he had such a low self-esteem.

“Newt, you're beautiful.”

When he heard Thomas' words, Newt dropped the pillow and burried his face in the crook of Thomas' neck, slowly and shakily inhaling his scent.

“I'm scared...” Newt's voice had been so low Thomas wasn't even sure the blond had really wanted him to hear. Thomas instinctively put his arms on Newt's back, holding him close in a reassuring embrace. Newt backed off a little, just enough to look a little at Thomas.

“Go back to sleep Newt. I'm here.”

Newt nodded and Thomas instinctively lay on his back and Newt shifted a little, enough to hide his head in Thomas' neck. He rested there but Thomas knew he wasn't alseep: Newt's breathing was a soft caress on his skin but he felt the blond shifting every now and then, his body tensing and relaxing. Ten minutes later, Newt raised his head: “I need to smoke...”

“Now?”

“Yeah.” He sat up in the bed and fished for a cigaret in his jeans. He found none and Thomas heard his sigh. “I don't have any left. Bloody Hell.”

His hands started to shake and he stood up quickly, pacing in the room. It was quite late in the afternoon and Thomas took a look at his phone: 4:22pm.

“We can go buy some, if you want.” He said when he saw how agitated Newt was becoming.

“No, stay here, I'll go.” He grabbed his jacket as he said so. Newt's hands were clearly shaking as he grabbed the handle and left the room. Stunned, Thomas watched him disappear behind the door.

 

 

When Minho got back from his classes a few minutes later, a little before 5:oopm, he found Thomas in a strange state but didn't ask any question when he realised he wouldn't be given any answer. Thomas was still sat on his bed as he watched Minho unpack his things. He was worried and sad, melancolic because Newt had left and he hadn't come back. Panic had overpowered him a few minutes ago and he was glad Minho had come back but the Asian hadn't seemed so happy himself. Both boys jumped as Minho's phone started to ring loudly, bringing Thomas back to the present. Thomas saw Minho take a quick glance at the screen before immediately grabbing it and picking up.

“Hey buddy, you ok-”

Even though Minho's phone was not on speaker, Thomas heard the voice that cut Minho off: “Minho, Min-Minho!”

“Newt, are you okay?”

“Yeah, no, I- I-”

“Newt breathe, where are you?”

“Still on the campus, I-I- I'm a bloody idiot Minho, he is gonn' kill me.”

“What are you talking about?”

Thomas heard Newt cough heavily.

“I just smoked three cigarets in a row, I need to cover Thomas' perfume. Minho I'm so stupid!”

“What happened Newt? Calm down, breathe and answer my question.”

“I-I-”

“Breathe Newt. Breathe in. Okay, breathe out. Are you still smoking?”

“No.”

“Good, I know you're nervous but please calm down.” There was a blank and Thomas guessed that Minho was waiting for Newt to calm down.

“Better?”

“No, Minho I messed up, I love him. I wanna kiss him every day, every hour, every minute, I need him but I can't, I can't Minho... I love him and I'm so bloody stupid. I'm scared Minho, I'm bloody terrified, bloody Hell, I'm so shucked...” Thomas realised he had gotten up and was standing still, almost behind Minho, as worried as the Asian was.

“Newt... What happened?” Minho's voice was soft and both boys heard a sob coming from the phone.

“I- I can't, he is gonna kill me.”

“Newt, I'm coming, don't move.”

“Is Thomas here?” Newt's voice asked.

“Yeah, he's here. D'you want me to kick him out of the room while we finish this conversation?”

“Tell him I'm sorry. I- I need ti-time.” He was obviously crying at that point and Thomas felt his eyes water too.

“Newt, I'm coming!” Minho grabbed his jacket and he glanced at Thomas with a look that was a mix of “I hate you” and “I'm sorry”. He left the room and Thomas fell to the ground.

 

 

When Minho came back, it was almost dark outside. Thomas rose from his bed and looked at Minho with hopeful eyes. He had been crying, worried and scared, and he knew his eyes looked terrible.

“Is he okay?” Was the first thing Thomas asked despite his own condition.

“Yes and no.” Minho answered. “He smoked three more cigarets when I was with him. He is scared to death.”

“Is he gonna be okay?”

“I don't know. He doesn't smell like you anymore, smelled more like tobacco when I walked him back to his house. He is safe for now. He told me what happened though.”

“Oh shuck... Minho how is he? Please, how is he?” Minho sighed.

“He is scared. Thomas, you're gonna hate what I'm gonna ask you to do.” Thomas swallowed heavily. “I talked with Newt and he is scared. He needs some time. You need to give him some time to think. He was having a shucking panic attack when I found him. I think you heard the whole part on the phone, right?” Thomas nodded, his body already hurting. He knew what was going to follow. “Thomas, please, give him some time. He is terrified, doesn't know what to do and you can't blame him. He kissed you and he is scared. Promise me you'll wait for him to take a decision. Promise me you'll give him some time.”

Thomas nodded but he felt his heart break.

“I'm sorry shuck face,” said Minho with a soft voice.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday but stuff happened plus I was nervous about this whole "after-kiss" chapter! So yeah, I hope I didn't make you shouting at me for this chapter, but I promise they'll have an happy ending, I swear! :$  
> I still hope you're gonna like it... I'm just so nervous, I'm sorry...  
> Please, do not hesitate to tell me what you think of this chapter... I swear it'll get better for them after that!  
> Thank you for reading, you're amazing! <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Back off.” Thomas turned his head as he heard this voice. This accent.  
> “Newt?” He asked, feeling completely stupid because of course it was him.  
> “Come with me!” Newt said as he took Thomas' hand and helped him on his feet. He pulled Thomas behind him, walking quickly through the crowd of drinking and flirting teens.

Thomas couldn't sleep. Lying flat on his back in his bed, he couldn't sleep because Newt's scent was everywhere: on his pillow, on his blanket. He knew it was a terrible thing to do because it wouldn't make him sleep, it wouldn't help him stop to be worried, but he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened earlier. He had been through the most agonizing feeling when he had seen what was written on Newt's body and he had to admit he agreed with Minho: the blond needed time.

Thomas didn't know the whole story but being beaten up by your own father for the simple fact that you were gay was not something easy to experience. Newt had the word “straight” carved on his skin! This was not something someone was supposed to go through.

And Thomas couldn't bear the fact of Newt being hurt. It made his blood boil and he had to force himself to breathe deeply to calm down and relax his body. Thomas understood Newt's fears and Minho was right: he couldn't blame him.

He didn't like it, because he was falling in love with Newt, but for now, there was nothing he could do. He couldn't quite protect the blond, he couldn't even be with him, he felt completely powerless. It had been an hour since he had gone to bed, and he had been thinking about the whole situation for quite a while now, shifting in his bed, unable to fall asleep.

Newt had let Thomas see how vulnerable he was, they had kissed, had come back to Thomas' room so Newt could rest and when the blond had woken up, he had had second thoughts, completely scared by what he had done and what would be the consequences.

Thomas couldn't blame him but he had felt his heart break when he had “overheard” Newt's voice on the phone. He didn't want the blond to be scared, he hated the fact that he was responsible for Newt's fear and for the fact that he had been beaten up in the first place. His stomach ached as his whole body contracted when the thought that he was responsible hit him.

“Go to sleep Thomas. Stop over thinking.” Minho's tired voice broke the silence.

“Easier said than done.” Thomas replied.

“I know shuck face. Trust me, I know...”

Eventually, in the middle of the night, a little after his clock showed 3:32am, Thomas fell asleep.

 

 

When he woke up on Tuesday, he didn't know how he felt. The only overpowering feeling was a kind of melancholy, a sadness he couldn't quite explain at first, like his body knew a pain his brain had forgotten about. Then he felt it: the emptiness.

He got out of his bed and started to dress up to go to his stupid and unimportant three-hour long Medieval arts class. The only thing that made him feel better was to know that he would at least see Newt but the idea crushed his heart just as much as it made him better.

Minho was awake too and he seemed to be sharing Thomas' uneasiness: his movements were as slow as Thomas' were though he was clearly trying to lighten the mood. The Asian boy was being almost as sarcastic as ever, teasing Thomas about the assignement he had still not finished. It was a pathetic attempt to make him feel better but Thomas was glad to have Minho, even if he was not really paying attention to everything his friend was saying.

They got out of their room together and headed to their respective classes. Thomas knew he was going to see Newt and his stomach was messing up with him once more, aching in anticipation. Just before they had to go their own way, Minho spoke in a serious tone.

“He needs time. It doesn't mean he doesn't need you. Don't push it, don't seek for contact, let him come to you.”

Obviously, trying to obey Minho was hard, because even Newt seemed completely lost, unable to decide what he wanted to do. Sat in his seat at Newt's right, Thomas was trying to survive his class – who had ever had the shucking idea to create three-hour classes, by the way?! – as much as he was trying not to look at Newt too much, which was hard to because in a few days, they had been though a lot together and Thomas' feelings had developped to the point where he cared about Newt so much he couldn't handle being away from him.

Newt was looking at him every once in a while, immediately shifting his gaze when he did so like he was ashamed to look at him. Thomas hadn't meant to sit down next to him because, even if he hated it, he had been willing to give Newt some time and some space to think but the blond was already in the class when he had arrived there and Newt had locked eyes with Thomas, his face lighting up before darkening right after and his eyes had begged Thomas to sit next to him.

That's what happened the whole day. They sat next to each other, Thomas' presence obviously reassuring Newt, but they didn't talk because Thomas didn't want to force Newt and the blond did obviously not felt like talking. When Thomas and Newt finished their last class, they walked out of the room together and Newt started to look for a cigarette in his pockets. Thomas knew the blond was nervous and he guessed that was the reason he had been smoking so much in the last few days.

“Please, go slowly with these.” Thomas said, directly adressing Newt for the first time that day. Newt looked at him and smiled.

“Thanks Tommy.” It was not ironic, Newt's words showed that he genuinely appreciated Thomas' care. They parted ways.

The next day, everything happened quite the same. Newt was distant but close at the same time. It was the worst Wednesday Thomas had ever had to live. His whole body was tensed, every single inch of his being craving for a touch, wanting to reach for Newt and take the pain and sorrow away.

Thomas was afraid Thursday would be exactly the same. They only had a few classes but both Thomas and Newt had their Art project to work on.

Thomas knew Newt was going to be in the Art room because the blond would try to avoid his house at all cost. Thomas didn't know if he was supposed to go there too, even though he needed to work to. He put his alarm on before going to sleep but when he woke up on Thursday, he was still not sure he had done the right thing. When he arrived in the Art Room, his heart's pace quickened: Newt was there. He smiled as he saw Thomas entering.

“I knew you'd come here Tommy. How is your bloody art project going?”

“Don't laugh at me but it's uh... slowly progressing.”

“Is that a way to say that you have absolutely no idea what to do?”

“You can say that yeah...”

Newt laughed and Thomas felt the knot in his chest loosen.

“What about yours?”

“It's not that good but I'm probably doing better than you for the moment.” Newt teased him.

“In your dreams!” Thomas laughed.

They worked in silence for the next hours before heading back to the cafeteria to have lunch with Minho, Teresa, Brenda and Alby. Thomas had not had so many occasions to talk with Alby but the guys seemed nice. Brenda greeted them with a smile and Thomas saw Newt roll his eyes: Minho and Teresa were having a new argument. Again.

 

 

When he headed back to his room, Thomas found Minho already there, throwing clothes all over their beds. Thomas blinked and took a hesitant step forward. “Minho? What are you doing?”

“Trying to find something great to wear, isn't it obvious?” He replied.

“I see that, thank you. What for?” Thomas asked casually, dropping his bag to the floor.

“Thursday Thomas! What a Greenie, come on, have you already forgotten about the Thursday tradition?!”

“Oh, yeah, uh, the parties right?”

“Yes, Greenie! What a poor education, who are your friends seriously? Come on, try to get ready, you look like klunk!”

“Oh Minho please, I don't want to go.”

“A little drink would help you to stop thinking about Newt you know.”

Thomas felt his resolution crumble.

 

 

He sighed but he still gulped down his drink with a disgusted look on his face. Alcohol burnt his throat and he hated himself for being so weak. It had been a while since he had drunk so much and in a dark corner of his mind he knew he should never have drunk that much. It was a quite useless statement now that Thomas was slightly wasted. Minho had given him one glass at the beginning of the party but Thomas had let many people give him more.

Now he was sat on a table, surrounded by people he didn't know because Minho had gone somewhere else with this girl he had met at the last party, probably having sex with her in one of the bedrooms. A girl he didn't even know was by his side laughing like crazy to something he had just said, and again, he didn't even know why she had found that funny. He was completely out of it, but if he had been a little less drunk, he would have seen she was just trying to flirt with him – in a terribly subtile way by the way.

Suddenly, she put her hand on Thomas' arm and he jumped back a little but his reflexes were reduced by alcohol.

“Back off.” Thomas turned his head as he heard this voice. This accent.

“Newt?” He asked, feeling completely stupid because of course it was Newt.

“Come with me!” Newt said as he took Thomas' hand and helped him on his feet. He pulled Thomas behind him, walking quickly through the crowd of drinking and flirting teens.

“Newt, what are you doing here?”

“Teresa told me to come by and I did.” Newt said without looking back.

Newt grabbed the handle of a door and pulled it open, letting Thomas in the room.

“What are y-”

Thomas was cut off by Newt who pressed him immediately to the wall. It was rather violent, or maybe it was just Thomas' impression because he was drunk.

“Newt?” Thomas asked, a little lost.

“I can't bear seeing you with anyone else. I just can't.”

“What does that mean?”

“That if you want to do so, I'd like you to kiss me.”

Thomas looked at Newt, at the resolution on his face. At how determined he seemed. The blond's eyes were shinning and Thomas knew he was scared Thomas would reject him. But he so not going to do so. He saw Newt's determined face and he did the only thing he could possibly do.

Newt had asked him to kiss him. Thomas was happy to oblige.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry, so much narrative in this chapter! Though I hope you liked how it ended... :)  
> Thank you for your kind comments and your reading!  
> Feedback would be lovely, don't hesitate to tell me what you thought about this.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt's lips backed off a little, just a little. They were still slightly touching Thomas' lips and he could feel the blond's whisper as much as he heard it.  
> “I could do that all night long...”  
> “Well, nobody's here to prevent you from doing so...” Thomas said, a small smile spreading on his face.

It felt so right and so perfect to kiss Newt, to have his lips on his and to just enjoy the touch. It had been less slow this time because Thomas was a little drunk but mostly because Newt was sure he wanted to kiss him. Thomas had locked eyes with Newt and had approached him: he hadn't needed to make a big effort because Newt was really close to him, holding him against the wall of- well of wherever they were.

Their lips had touched and now... Well, now Newt was completely dominating the kiss, pinning Thomas against the wall and resting mostly on his elbow that was against the wall too, on one side of Thomas' face. Thomas' hands were gentle, slowly running up and down Newt's spine, an obvious contrast with the passion in their kiss.

It was not hungry or even sexual – even though Thomas was sure Newt could have turned him on if he had really wanted to, but he was glad it wasn't in this way because he wanted to let Newt some time – but it was passionate. They were not fighting for dominance, they were just equals and sharing the kiss, even though Thomas was clearly letting Newt decide what he wanted to do next, but he followed the blond's direction each time.

It was amazing to experience this new side of Newt's personnality, to let him take control. Thomas didn't know what had made him change his mind, but Newt's words came back to his mind _“I can't bear seeing you with anyone else. I just can't.”_

It had been the sweetest thing Thomas had ever heard in his whole life because Newt's voice had been full of love and care and a bit of anger and jealousy that had made Thomas loose it for real. He got back to the present time when he felt Newt's hand sliding on his back. He smiled against the bond's lips and Newt made the smirk disappear just by groaning against Thomas' lips as he brought their bodies closer.

They kissed for what felt like hours but Thomas didn't want to let go. There was no way he was ever letting the blond go. Newt's lips backed off a little, just a little. They were still slightly touching Thomas' lips and he could feel the blond's whisper as much as he heard it.

“I could do that all night long...”

“Well, nobody's here to prevent you from doing so...” Thomas said, a small smile spreading on his face.

With that, Newt's lips locked with Thomas' slowly, delicately and deliberately in a kiss that made Thomas' body tremble. Right after, Newt pulled back again and rested his face in Thomas' neck, trying to even his breathing and making Thomas shiver uncontrollably because the caress of Newt's breathing on his skin felt amazing.

Thomas felt completely sobber again, at least, almost sobber, he was still slowly loosing it because of Newt. Who seemed to know exactly what was going on in Thomas' head because the next thing Newt did made Thomas throw his head back against the wall: Newt had brought his lips to Thomas' neck and was gently kissing him there, right at the good spot. It wasn't aggressive, it was soft and Newt had clearly not the intention to leave a huge hickey but the gesture was screaming “mine” and it made Thomas' heart stop.

Thomas' hands grabbed Newt's hair in the back of his neck because he needed to hold on to something and Newt's smile on his skin told him the blond liked it. It was so soft: Newt's lips were now just caressing Thomas' skin: “Newt...” He whimpered shamelessly.

“Something wrong Tommy?” Newt asked against Thomas' skin in a playful voice because he knew how much Thomas was actually lost in pleasure.

“Don't make fun of me, you did this on purpose.”

“Yes. And I love how you just loose control when I kiss you.” Newt whispered on his skin. The blond was now slowly putting his arms around Thomas's shoulders, his head still hidden in Thomas' neck. Thomas let his instincts do the deed and he wrapped his arms around Newt's waist, joining his hands on the blond's back in a protective and reassuring embrace. He felt Newt relax completely against him and he heard and felt him sigh in happiness and comfort.

It wasn't weird for Thomas to see the situation end up like this, with the both of them basically hugging each other while they had been kissing passionately just a few minutes ago. It was not weird because it was Newt.

“D'you want to go back to the party?” Newt asked slowly.

Thomas started to trace small patterns on the blond's back and all he actually craved for right now was to go back to his bedroom and lie down in the bed with Newt.

“Nop. D'you want to?”

Newt shook his head and his hair tickled Thomas' chin. One of Thomas' hand ran up Newt's spine.

“To be honest, I hate parties. I'd rather have a good drink with a few friends than doing these stupid drinking session.”

Thomas felt a wide smile spread on his face as he asked: “D'you want to go back to my room and spend the rest of the night sleeping instead of seeing people throw up everwhere?”

“I should've known you were the bloody romantic type, Tommy.” Newt laughed.

 

 

It took quite a long time for them to head back to Thomas' room because Thomas' brain was a little drunk and completely shucked by Newt's kisses but mostly because of the fact they didn't really know where they were. The party had taken place at someone else's house and Thomas had not paid that much attention to where he, Teresa and Minho were going when they had walked their way to the house.

“Tommy, I think this is your building right?”

Newt's accent sent sparks all over Thomas' body and they walked faster to be able to go inside as soon as they could. They had not touched for the entire way back because Thomas' still slightly drunk brain had immediately thought that Newt would probably not want to touch him in public. At least not for now. He had been right and Newt had kept a reasonable distance between them.

But as soon as they entered the building, he whispered: “Please, can we hurry up, it's hard not to touch you.”

When they entered the room, Thomas felt Newt's hand slide in his, intertwinning their fingers.

“I'm sorry Tommy, I just want to do it but I can't, I mean, I just can't go out and-”

“And hold my hand, I know and trust me, that's not what I want or what I'm asking for.”

“Are you sure it doesn't bother you?” Newt asked in a small voice. Both boys were leaning against the door.

Thomas made a face and rolled his eyes, gently squeezing Newt's hand: “Of course I'm sure, shuck face. D'you really think I was expecting you to make out with me in public?”

Newt blushed at that. “You're perfect Tommy, you know that?”

“I know...” Thomas teased him right before he yawned. Alcohol was taking the best of him and now that they had walked 30 minutes in the cold night to go back to his room, he was having trouble staying awake.

“You okay Tommy?”

Thomas nodded. “Yeah, fine, a little tired I think. I shouldn't have drunk that much.”

“How many buggin' glasses did you have?”

“I don't remember. Quite a lot. I felt better when you dragged me away from the party to kiss me but I'm having a little backfiring I think.”

“Are you feeling alright? You should lie down.” Thomas did as he was told and Newt sat down on the bed too, his hand still in Thomas'. The warmth coming from the blond was amazing and Thomas brought Newt closer to enjoy his body heat. He was freezing.

“Tommy, you're bloody cold!”

“I know Newt, sorry.”

“Get up.” Thomas groaned in protest but he sat up in his bed nonetheless. “Take your clothes off and go under the blanket.”

“Who is trying to get the other naked now?” Thomas teased, remembering the last party where Newt had been the one freezing.

“Shut up Tommy.”

The smile on Newt's face contradicted his words. Thomas slid under the blanket and shivered: the blanket was so damn cool! Newt joined him just a few seconds later, his T-shirt still on and Thomas' tired brain realized it was because the blond's torso was full of scars and Newt was ashamed to show them. He didn't push it because the thought left his mind at the precise moment Newt turned on his side to face him.

“Newt?” The blond hummed in response as he adjusted under the blanket, getting closer to Thomas to make him stop shivering.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot Tommy.”

“What made you take a decision?”

Silence flooded the room and, for a moment, Thomas was afraid he had asked something he shouldn't have. Then, Newt spoke.

“Saw you with that chick a few minutes after I arrived. I had actually drunk a glass of I don't even know what to gather enough courage to talk to you. Guess the spark of jealousy set it for me. I realized I really liked you. So I thought I could be selfish for once and not let you go.”

“I should thank the girl then.” Thomas said with a small smile.

“Don't you ever dare to do that.” Newt laughed. Their hands were intertwined between them and Thomas couldn't remember a time he had been happier.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Lots of kissing in this chapter right? Sorry about that ahah!  
> I still hope you liked it and enjoyed reading it! :)  
> Feel free to tell me what you think about this chapter! Thank you for reading, commenting and everything, it means so much to me! <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How long have you been awake?”  
> Newt shrugged, his attention still on his drawing: “I don't know, quite a long time. Maybe two hours.”  
> Thomas was mortified.  
> “Two hours? Why didn't you wake me up?”  
> “You look so young and vulnerable when you sleep.” Newt said with an absent voice.

When Thomas opened his eyes, he was warm and he felt good. He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes lazily, stretching his body. He turned a litte bit to the right then to the left, this persistent feeling of happiness flooding him before he could even remember what had happened, and saw Newt, already awake, drawing something on his notebook. The blond was sat on the bed next to him, not at the same place he had been during the night because he now had his back resting against the wall with his legs folded above Thomas' own legs resting under the covers.

He had his usual notebook put on his knees and a pencil in his right hand. He was focused on what he was doing, Thomas could see the adorable look of pure concentration on the blond's face and he found himself staring at Newt, enjoying the warmth of the blankets and the presence of the blond.

It was the most peaceful wake up he had ever had and he didn't speak because he didn't want to ruin the moment.

“Tommy. Stop staring.” Newt snorted.

Thomas blushed. Newt was still looking at his notebook but he had a smirk on his face. His eyes never left his notebook, like Thomas was not even here, blushing like crazy just a few inches from Newt. Thomas looked at Newt's hands, how they held the pencil, how they moved on the paper. This simple sight made Thomas feel even more peaceful and he shifted gently, sitting up in the bed.

“How long have you been awake?”

Newt shrugged, his attention still on his drawing: “I don't know, quite a long time. Maybe two hours.”

Thomas was mortified.

“Two hours? Why didn't you wake me up?”

“You look so young and vulnerable when you sleep.” Newt said with an absent voice. Thomas knew where the blond's mind was: lost in the magic and amazing world of Arts, lost in his imagination and creativity. Thomas let him continue whatever he was doing and he loved it because the sole sight of Newt made him feel better. He took a lazy look at his clock and he jumped in his bed, disconcerting Newt completely.

“Tommy? What the Hell?”

“Newt it's almost 11am, we are supposed to be in class!”

“Tommy, stop bloody moving like that!”

“We need to go-”

“No we don't, remember? They changed a few of our classes, that's one of the reason I came to the party yesterday. Relax, we have time.”

“So that means-”

“That means we don't have classes this morning genius. Now could you stop moving for a sec, I'm trying to draw here.”

Thomas stopped and threw his head back in his pillow, sighing in contentement. He heard Newt sigh too as the blond went back to his drawing. Suddenly, Thomas remembered the panic attack from the last time and he couldn't help but spoke again to make sure the blond was okay.

“Why did you wake up?” Newt's eyes shifted from his current work to Thomas but it wasn't a normal look: the blond took a quick glance and immediately went back to his drawing, like he was afraid he would forget something.

“I don't sleep much. I can't.”

“How is that even possible? Sleep is quite a wonderful thing.”

Newt smiled a little at that: “Yep, but not with a bloody homophobic father running around your house Tommy. The less vulnerable I am, the better. And be asleep means being in a vulnerable state.” Thomas felt an icy hand grab his insides as he heard Newt speak of such a terrible subject with a calm and casual tone. He was pretty sure it had to do with the fact Newt was in a kind of artistic transe.

“Did I tried to wrap my whole body around you like last time?”

Newt moved his notebook back to take a better look at his work and tilted his head to the side, brought back his notebook to his knees, taking a closer look to what was on the paper.

“Yes you did. That was bloody cute.”

“I'm sorry, I knew I was gonna-”

“'t's okay Tommy – stop moving your legs please, they make my hand shake.”

“Did you have a panic attack?”

“I won't deny that I was bloody terrified when I opened my eyes. But I got lucky 'cuz I remembered it was you before panic had really time to settle in.” Newt said, looking at Thomas with the same strange shadow in his eyes.

“How long have you been drawing?”

“A little more than an hour, I started when I found out I was still nervous because you were wrapped around me when I woke up. I took my notebook and a pen and started drawing.”

“What are you working on?”

“Nothing important.”

“Don't tell me you've been working on your Art project while I was sleeping!”

“Bloody Hell, no, that thing is such a pain in the ass, I don't feel really inspired, but it's almost done...” Newt said casually like the Arts porject was not such a big deal. Well, technically it wasn't but Thomas' own project was far from finished. “No I've been doing something more personal but you're making it bloody difficult for me to finish it. Stand still will ya?”

“Are you drawing me?”

Newt blushed a little at that: “As I said, you look really adorable when you're asleep. It relaxed me to look at you sleeping so yeah, I might be drawing you.”

“That's so cool!” Thomas said sitting up again in the bed.

“Tommy, stop moving!”

 

 

Their little bubble exploded when someone knocked at the door. Newt had given up his drawing for now and he was sat next to Thomas, comfortably cuddling with him, Thomas' hand resting on the blond's back, gently rubbing small circles there, making Newt feel completely relax and happy. They were watching a stupid TV show on Thomas' computer and it was the only sound in the room. Well except for their heavy breathing, because yes, they had been kissing. After Thomas had brushed his teeth. Newt himself had had his own tooth brush in the bag under Minho's bed. It had been Thomas' fault, upseting Newt because he wouldn't stop moving and Newt couldn't focus on his “bloody drawing” anymore.

So when they heard the knocking, it surprised the both of them.

“Can I come in? Please tell me you're not making out.”

“Get in Minho!” Newt said, a smirk on his face.

“Oh thank God, you shank aren't naked!” Minho said as he entered, smiling at his own pathetic humour.

“Oh c'mon Minho, I've heard better teasing coming from you!” Newt said. “How could you even be sure I was here anyway?”

“Where else could you possibly be?” Minho said with a smile, making Newt blush a little. “Alby was at the party too, he told me he saw you there so I knew you would come back with Thomas.” The Asian boy explained. “I guess you took a decision then.” Newt nodded and Thomas closed his laptop.

“Where is that fucking smile coming from?” Thomas asked Minho, curious.

“Yeah, he is right, you shouldn't smile like that just for us, what happened?”

“Slim it shanks.”

“No, don't “slim it” me Minho! I know you bloody better than you know yourself, tell us already!”

“Well, maybe I kinda- uh... had the most amazing moment of my life with-”

“TERESA!” Newt yelled.

“Maybe...” Minho replied with an egnimatic look.

“Oh man!” Newt looked at Thomas and both guys gave each other a high five.

“Look boys, I know my life is absolutely fascinating and-”

“In your dreams...” Thomas whispered.

“And I heard you shuck face, don't deny it, you're jealous. Yes, I had sex with Teresa and we might be kinda together.”

“It's been a long time since you started talking about her! Man, I'm glad you finally decided to tell her about your crush on her.”

Minho blushed like crazy and looked at his feet for a second, embarassed, before raising his head, trying to act like nothing had happened.

“Yeah, I mean, it was high time I-”

“Don't tell me she made the first move!”

“She did!” Thomas added when he saw Minho drop his gaze.

“Oh my God, Minho, your little pride is dead!” Newt laughed. Thomas couldn't help but join him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I thought about posting this for quite a long time before actually posting it because I was kinda nervous about this whole "wake up together" thing :$  
> But here it goes and I hope it won't disappoint too much. I wanted it to be a peaceful and lovely and cute wake up, because well... Newt still has issues and they can't kiss like crazy all the time ahah!  
> Let me know what you thought about this chapter, I'd love to hear your opinions :)  
> Thank you for reading <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I didn't know you smoked so much. I didn't even know you smoked before I actually saw you light up a cigarette.”  
> “That's 'cuz I'm way too nervous. When I'm feeling low, I smoke. It makes me feel better. How stupid is that?”

It was great being with Minho and Newt, enjoying the morning – at least the end of it – only thinking about what they were going to eat, what they wanted to do before they had to go to their class. It felt normal and Thomas was happy to see Minho and Newt interact, because they were best friends and it was quite an impressive thing to see both boys “shucking” with each other.

They considered leaving their room to grab something to eat at the cafeteria but none of them really wanted to go out. Newt said he would enjoy a slice of pizza but they decided against it when the sole thought of a hot, oily and good pizza made Thomas and Minho nauseous.

“You shouldn't have bloody drunk that much, now either you accept it and live with it or you bloody go out and grab something to eat. If you don't I'll order the buggin' pizza no matter what.” It was obvious that Thomas and Minho had fragile stomach because they had drunk too much, mixing different alcohol and now regretting it because yes, as Newt recalled them when he laughed at them, mixing alcohol makes you feel sick way faster.

For the hundredth time, Thomas wished he hadn't drunk that much. He hadn't felt bad at the party, nor even after when he had been with Newt and, yes, he had been happy to go to bed and sleeping had made him feel better. But he hadn't woken up with a hangover and he hadn't felt sick or anything so he thought he was good.

He was hungry that was not the problem, he wanted to eat. His body was screaming at him, telling him – or more like ordering him – to get some food into him but the single idea of actually feeling junk food or hot food in his mouth and stomach made him sick. That was the problem. And now, with Newt talking about pizza, he did feel like throwing up, just like Minho.

“Newt, please, I can't even think about pizza, even less handle the smell of it, have mercy for shuck's sake!”

“Then go to the bloody cafeteria Minho! Your choice.”

“My choice? This is clearly not a choice.”

“Alright,” Thomas cut them off, too hungry nonetheless to enjoy their little argument. “What do you guys want?”

“Thomas you're a hero!” Minho jumped to his feet and grabbed his wallet, handing a note to Thomas. “Buy me a burger will ya? And a bottle of water. And a salad!”

Thomas took the note and rolled his eyes. “Newt? What d'you want?”

“Same thing as Minho, except for all the healthy things he said. Can I come with you?”

“I can go alone, y'know, you don't have to come.”

“Well, I need to smoke so I'll do it on our way to the cafeteria.”

“That's fine by me!” Thomas grabbed his own wallet and his jacket. Newt did the same and opened the door: “Try not to starve to death Minho!”

Minho was about to answer when his stomach growled. Newt shut the door close before the Asian boy could say anything else.

They hurried up and Thomas had not thought Newt needed to smoke so badly. They were out in the blink of an eye and Newt put a shaky hand inside his pocket to find a cigarette and his lighter.

“I didn't know you smoked so much. I didn't even know you smoked before I actually saw you light up a cigarette.”

“That's 'cuz I'm way too nervous. When I'm feeling low, I smoke. It makes me feel better. How stupid is that?”

“I used to drink way too much almost everyday until I stopped a few months ago, so I won't judge you. That's not stupid.” Thomas looked at Newt as he took the cigarette to his lips. It wasn't healthy, he knew it, but Newt looked kind of hot when he smoked.

“No, the most stupid part is that I've been stupid enough to let the habbit settle in.”

“Have you ever considered stopping?”

“I'm not that bloody sure I can, actually. I kinda need it.” That's when Newt's words hit Thomas.

“Wait, are you feeling bad right now?”

“No Tommy, I'm feeling good. That's a bloody amazing feeling. I'm just trying not to think about tonight.” Newt smiled as he took another puff. Thomas understood instantly: Newt would have to go home and face his father. His bruises were only starting to fade and Thomas was now becoming as nervous as the blond. He dreaded the day he would see Newt come back again with half of his face bruised and cut.

“Can't you leave your parents' house?”

“Trust me, anything you can think of I've already tried.” Newt's tone was one of despair and resignation.

“Sorry, that was a stupid question, I didn't mean to make you feel bad.”

“No, don't say that, I like your optimism. I like that you're trying to help me. But I'm trapped for the moment.” Newt finished his cigarette and breathed out the last traces of smoke.

“Let's go Tommy, I'm starving.” The quick change of subject startled Thomas but they started walking again, really close to each other and Thomas enjoyed the warm presence of Newt, he liked how their bodies touched and collided while they walked.

They entered the cafeteria a few minutes later and Thomas instantly wished he had not offered to go buy some food. He had already guessed it when they had reached the building but now that he was inside, there was no denying it: he was going to be sick. There were so many aggressive smells in the air, fried food, meat, burgers, oily things, unhealthy food, he could even almost smell donuts. It felt like his face was reeking of all the bad smells, even his lungs were breathing the oily air, making his whole body protest, his breath hitch and his stomach clench.

“Oh shuck, Newt, I'm gonna throw up.”

“Are you bloody kidding me?” Newt asked as he turned to look at him. His eyes widened as he saw the other's face and Thomas was almost certain his face had turned a terrible shade of green. He had the sudden need to put a hand on his stomach.

“Do I look like I'm kidding?”

“Obviously not! Let's go back outside!” Newt took his arm as he spoke and walked him out of the building. Thomas was relieved to feel the fresh air on his face but they didn't stop, Newt heading to the bench in front of them. It made Thomas feel better, knowing he would not smell food anymore in a couple of seconds. The fresh air was slowly cleaning his nose from all the food smells and he breathed deeply when he sat down on the bench. The feeling that his face reeked of oil stayed and he promised himself to take a shower when they'll go back to his room.

“You'll have to go back inside on your own, I'll throw up if I walk in again.”

“You're making it so bloody tragic, like I'm leaving you for dead or something. Give me Minho's money and tell me what you want.”

“Something with tomatoes. A salad. That'd be cool.” Thomas handed Newt the note and their fingers brushed slightly. He wanted more but he let Newt go with the money and watched him as the blond entered the cafeteria. He kept his eyes on the door, staring blankly in its direction when he felt his phone vibrate. He took it out of his pocket.

It was only when Thomas' phone displayed an unread text and when he opened it that he remembered his family. Well, he had not exactly forgotten about them of course, but he had not sent them a lot of text nor had he given them a lot of news.

It was a text from his mother, not really long, not really short, saying “ **Hey Tom, how are you? Give us some news. Miss you.** ” He felt a little bad and decided to call his mother while Newt was still inside. Unluckily, nobody picked up the phone and he guessed the text was just a gesture of selfishness, that his mother was actually trying to pretend she had not forgotten him and he was the one who was not being a good son. He loved his mom, but since his little brother was born and he had entered university, it had never been the same.

Newt's return drew him out of his thoughts: “Feeling better?”

“Yep, and kinda starving and craving for cold vegetables. That's weird, it doesn't sound like me at all.” Newt laughed at that. No one was outside and Newt slowly took Thomas' hand, intertwinning their fingers delicately. Thomas felt his heart speed up in his chest and let the pleasant feeling flood through his body.

When they came back to the room, they were still holding hands and Thomas opened the door since Newt was holding the bag of food in his other hand. Minho was asleep on his bed, snoring loudly and both Newt and Thomas smirked, looking at Minho with a wicked spark in their eyes.

 

 

When Minho left the room to go to his classes, he was clearly tired and grumpy because he hadn't slept much and both boys had woken him up in a terrible way – Thomas didn't understand why Minho had not found it funny to be woken up by their screams: “Minho, Teresa is here, stop dribbling!” – but at least he had eaten. Plus, he was sexed up, so Thomas couldn't pity him. He stayed in the room and as soon as Minho had left, he told Newt he needed to take a shower since he still felt dirty and nauseous from his little journey in the cafeteria.

“D'you need help cleaning your back?” Newt asked, teasing. Thomas didn't chicken out.

“Well, if you ask nicely...” He got closer to Newt and the blond pecked him on the lips.

“Go take your bloody shower Tommy. I really don't want you to throw up on me or something.”

“And you said I was the unromantic?” Newt rolled his eyes as Thomas closed the bathroom behind him.

He took a quick shower, relieved as he felt the hot water running down his shoulders, washing away the dirt, taking every negative thing away.

When he left the shower and headed back to the room, a towel around his waist, he wasn't expecting Newt to look at him with such a look of adoration on his face. Newt was obviously not expecting it either because he tried to regain a composure but failed miserably. Many emotions crossed his face and it made Thomas froze, like a deer caught in headlights.

Newt slowly rose up from the bed where he had been sitting and took a few steps towards Thomas. He gently put one hand on Thomas' bare belly, precisely on his abs. The touch of Newt's warm skin against his made Thomas shiver and he couldn't help it, it was too sensual, he failed at stopping the moan that was threatening to pass his lips as Newt slowly lowered his head and slightly kissed his neck, the blond's hand caressing Thomas' stomach and hips.

He felt very self-conscious for a moment, standing in the middle of the room, almost naked except for the towel around his waist. Thomas had unconsciously put his hand on Newt's back, on his shirt, and was holding him close. Newt seemed to sense his discomfort though and he let go of his neck and kissed Thomas angrily.

“I hate it how you mess up with me, Tommy.” Newt whispered against Thomas' lips.

Those were the last words he heard until he lose it completely.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the little absence, I had a shucking essay to write and uh... Well actually it's not finished yet but yeah, I wanted to write a little to change my mind :)  
> So here it is, chapter 17! I hope you'll like it, I should stop feeling nervous but I have the terrible feeling I'm writting crap and klunk.  
> Do not hesitate to tell me what you think of this chapter, I would love to hear your comments (bad or good!)  
> Thank you for reading this, for your kudos and kind comments! It means a lot! <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas' mind was blank as he stared absently at his teacher in front of him. He could feel Newt's presence next to him and it made him blush and his heart beat faster like it wanted to escape his chest as memories flooded his mind mercilessly, leaving him completely hot from the inside, almost like his whole body was blushing.

Thomas' mind was blank as he stared absently at his teacher in front of him. He could feel Newt's presence next to him and it made him blush and his heart beat faster like it wanted to escape his chest as memories flooded his mind mercilessly, leaving him completely hot from the inside, almost like his whole body was blushing.

“When I look at how many questions you guys asked me I think I should make that clear for everyone: yes you'll have an assignement for this class.” The teacher's voice was not even enough to pierce Thomas' mind. He could not focus. His mind was still playing the scene in his scene, remembering over and over again what had happened in his room an hour ago. He still felt Newt's lips on his and he knew his eyes were still darker than usual.

It had not been a kiss. It had been way more, he had discovered a passion he had never experienced before. Newt's shaky hands all over his body, his mouth on his and the need to touch, to map each other's body. Thomas closed his eyes, pushing the memory away. It didn't really work as expected. Even less when Newt gently touched his leg.

“Tommy, you should stop thinking about that before it becomes... Too obvious.” Thomas could clearly hear the smirk in Newt's voice, now teasing when it had been low and husky an hour ago. Thomas locked eyes with him and he knew it was a mistake but he couldn't help it. When he saw Newt's still dark and cloudy eyes, he smiled genuinely.

“You shouldn't make fun, you're just the same.”

“No idea what you're bloody talking about.” Newt teased back but his eyes didn't lie: he completely agreed with Thomas.

_It was amazing. It felt perfect. Newt's hands moving across his body, sliding over the bare skin of his back and stomach. He tried to escape the touch to be able to touch him too, to feel Newt's skin under his hands but Newt did not let him at first. The kiss was passionate, hot, Newt's lips slowly possessing Thomas'. The blond had initiated the kiss and Thomas let him control it to make him feel safe and confident._

“ _I love this side of you...”_

“ _Shut up Tommy.” Newt said under his breath. “Shut up and kiss me.”_

_Thomas obliged, claiming back Newt's lips in a soft but determined and heated kiss. Newt pushed him against the wall, making Thomas hiss slightly on Newt's lips._

“Geez, you're making it so hard not to think about it Newt.”

“What have I done?” the British blond replied on a fake innocent tone.

“Don't “what have I done” me.” Thomas said with a grin on his face. “You know what you've done, being such a perfect kisser!”

_Newt moaned when Thomas finally managed to change position and press Newt against the wall._

“ _Tommy...”_

_They didn't part lips for too long but then Thomas slowly broke the kiss again, tilting his head to the side, and kissed Newt's jaw, making the blond tense against him and grab the hair on the back of Thomas' neck. Thomas nuzzled Newt's neck – he had been careful to go to the uninjured side of his body – and the blond gave in and hummed in contentement. Thomas kissed his neck, enjoying the feeling of the blond's hot skin, breathing in his scent. Newt dropped his head, hiding his face in Thomas' neck, forcing Thomas to withdraw and to hold Newt in a reassuring hold. It was still hard to see how easily Newt could go from possessive and dominant to scared and nervous._

“ _Please Tommy, don't.” Newt begged in a moan, his hands holding on Thomas' shoulders in an almost painful grip._

“ _I'm sorry,” Thomas apologized, “What's wrong?”_

“ _Just- don't, please...” Newt almost sounded ashamed._

“ _I'm sorry Newt, I didn't want to scare you...”_

“ _It's okay. Kiss me please.”_

Thomas blinked as he heard the noise of chairs sliding on the floor and people leaving the room. Newt was standing next to him and looking at him with an incredible smirk.

“Seriously Tommy, we didn't even have sex.” He teased him after he had made sure there was nobody left in the classroom.

“Stop teasing me, it was still amazing alright?”

Newt took his hand slowly, more confident this time. Thomas was not sure the blond was going to admit openly they were slowly falling in love but he had at least stopped fighting with himself, even though he knew Newt was still nervous.

“I know, I felt amazing too.” Thomas felt his cheeks heat up and they walked out of the room. Newt let go of his hand as soon as they walked through a crowded hallway. Thomas had felt it coming and he had not been holding Newt's hand too tightly. Still, Newt's hand brushed his from time to time, keeping a discreet contact with Thomas.

_Thomas felt more and more self-conscious in his towel, holding Newt against the wall. He was scared to give in the kiss too much and to loose control of his body. He tried to change his mind._

“ _Newt?”_

“ _Mmmh?”_

_Both of them were panting a little at that point and Thomas felt like drowing in Newt's dark eyes._

“ _Can I take off your shirt?” Thomas wanted to ask him because he had seen a little part of Newt's stomach before and it was not pretty. He was almost sure the blond would say no when he felt Newt's hands tremble against the skin of his back. “It's okay, you don't have to.”_

_Thomas kissed him again gently, like an apology for what he had just asked. Then, he felt Newt's hand move down his back until they reached his, one resting on Newt's back, the other on the wall. The blond took Thomas' hands in his and slid them on his own waist, resting them there. Thomas felt him take a deep breath into the kiss, managing to keep the rhythm though, as Newt delicately moved Thomas' hands under his shirt, on the sides of his stomach._

“ _If you feel uncomfortable, don't hesitate to remove them. I-”_

“ _Newt, shhh, it's okay. I won't hurt you. I won't touch you if you don't want me to.”_

_Newt's eyes shone with relief and he kissed Thomas again, making the brunet hold on tighter to Newtn pressing their hips together. Thomas' large and warm hands were now resting on Newt's back and he took his time, letting Newt adjust to the touch before actually starting to map slowly his body._

_Newt had been right: Thomas did not find his body disgusting though he was clearly afraid to hurt the blond when his hands touched scars and cuts slowly healing._

They met Minho, Teresa, Alby, Brenda and even Gally at the cafeteria. They sat down next to each other, Thomas trying to actually follow the conversation, his feet tangled with Newt's under the table. He took a look at the blond, enjoying the smile he saw on his face: Newt seemed happy. And yes, they had not had sex, yes, they had not touched each other in this way, but they had shared something, something that had really linked the two of them.

“Earth to Thomas!” Minho was snapping his fingers in front of him and Thomas couldn't help but cringe.

“Glad to see you're with us!” Teresa teased. He rolled his eyes like nothing had happened.

“And stop fighting with Newt's feet, we can all feel you under the table.”

That had everyone laughing and Thomas blushing. He had not missed this sassy side of Teresa but the girl smiled brightly at him and her strange blue eyes made him relax. He laughed too, joining the rest of the band. Even Gally had a smirk on his face taking over his fake daily look of “I don't give a shit”.

“Seriously guys, this is a major crisis,” Brenda said with a tragic tone. “What d'you wanna do tonight?”

“Whatever, as long as it doesn't involve drinking or eating.” Minho replied with a shrug as he looked at Thomas playfully. “Right Greenie?”

 

 

They finally settled for something that unluckily involved drinking. But the fact they were now heading to a bar was no reason to drink. They had gone back to their rooms to drop their bags and stuff and Newt had taken a shower to remove all male's scent from his skin – he was smelling like Thomas. A lot.

When they arrived at the bar, Thomas was relieved to find out it was not a big and crowded place and they sat around a table, comfortably settling on the leather banquettes. They ordered drinks and the bartender didn't ask for any ID card or anything.

“Does someone know that guy?” Brenda asked a little surprised. “I never thought he would let us order alcohol. I mean, I don't look like I'm 21.”

“Actually, he's my brother.” Gally said with a little shrug.

Thomas was surprised the guy had agreed to come with them in the first place, but now that they were all here, it did not seem that strange.

“So what, can we have free drinks?” Teresa asked, smiling innocently.

“Well, you can still try to ask him but I think he's gonn' say no.” Gally replied. Thomas saw Teresa looking at Minho with an amazing bright smile and playfull eyes and the Asian boy shook his head.

“It would ruin the taste of alcohol to know we didn't pay for it 'cuz you played the hot chick. Plus, I'm not drinking, so that's a no.”

“You are no fun Minho.”

Thomas looked at them as they started to argue but in an easier and more playful way, teasing each other over and over until both of them ended up pretending to ignore each other. The conversation was nice, the atmosphere relaxed as they all talked nicely with their glasses in their hands, enjoying the taste of their drinks.

Thomas was completely shucked because he would have loved to drink a little something instead of the coke he was currently sipping but he knew he wouldn't handle it well after his alcohol abuse from the past night. But he had to admit that looking at Minho sipping annoyingly his own coke was quite funny.

They talked about everything and nothing and Thomas learnt that Gally was actually a music student and that Alby and Brenda were in the same Psychology class as Minho. An hour later, Newt's phone vibrated. The blond, sitting next to Thomas with his hand on the brunet's thigh, had put it on the table a few minutes ago and he took the device hurriedly. What he saw on the screen made him pale a little.

“Newt, you okay?” Both Thomas and Minho asked in a low voice, in order not to draw attention on them. Newt stood up quickly and put on his jacket.

“Yeah, just gotta go.” He dropped a note on the table and headed towards the exit.

“Newt!” Thomas caught him just outside the doors of the bar. “Was it your father?”

“Yeah. He- He kinda removed my curfew and if I don't go back now...”

Thomas' stomach clenched. “Give me your number.” He said, handing his own phone to Newt. The blond took it and quickly typed his number.

“Text me and I'll have your number.” Newt said, his voice slightly high pitched.

Thomas did it immediately, sending a blank text so that Newt would have his number. He looked at the blond, trying to fight back the panic that was threatening to overwhelm him. He couldn't resist the urge and hugged Newt like his life depended on it. “Please, promise me you'll text. As soon as you're home, as soon as you're safe, please, text me.”

“I will.” Newt promised, caressing Thomas' neck. They kissed quickly and it was a little messy because they were both scared and trembling. Then Newt took a little step back.

“I need to go. I'll text you Tommy.”

Thomas watched him walk down the street in a quick pace, his heart aching, his chest tightening.

“I can't believe I'm letting you go back there...” Thomas whispered in a broken voice. Newt disappeared into the night. Thomas waited. He sent almost a dozen of texts to Newt, hoping he would get an answer. He waited. Waited.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Here it goes, chapter... 18! I hope it won't disappoint, lot of kissing and a kind of cliffhanger at the end... I still hope you'll like it, I loved writing the beginning!  
> Don't hesitate to tell me what you think of this chapter, I'd love to hear your opinions!  
> Thank your for reading, commenting and leaving kudos, that's amazing! <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can't go back there, I can't.” Newt's voice was cracking because of the sobs as he murmured against Thomas' neck.  
> “Shh, Newt I'm here.”  
> The words felt natural too, coming out of his mouth to soothe the sobbing and trembling blond in his arms. Newt's grip was becoming a little painful but Thomas took it, massaging his boyfriend's neck with his thumb in a relaxing gesture.  
> “I'm here, Newt, I'm here...”

Thomas waited for a text. He really did try to wait. But as time passed, his hands started shaking, adreanaline flooding through his wole body, fear eating him, coke adding sugar to the mix, making it unbearable for Thomas to sit still. They were still at the bar and both Minho and Thomas were nervous, even though Minho was mostly anxious because of Thomas: he was more used to Newt's problems than Thomas was and he knew it sometimes took Newt quite a long time to be able to reply safely.

“Thomas, please, try to calm down.” When he saw it didn't work, Minho took Thomas by the shoulder and took him outside without a word. Thomas protested, trying to catch his phone but failing. Fresh air hit his face and he breathed in deeply.

“Try to calm down. He might be alright, you don't even know. You're only hurting yourself.”

Thomas' foot was mercilessly hitting the ground as he replied coldly.

“Oh really, 'cuz that's what you told yourself during all this time? That he was fine? That there was nothing you could do?”

Minho lost it, violently gripped Thomas' shirt and shoved him angrily against the wall of the building.

“Don't _ever_ say that again.” Minho hissed through gritted teeth. He was not really touching Thomas but he had him pinned against the wall and it was really not gentle. The Asian's whole body was tensed.

“You have no idea what Newt and I have been through alright? You have _no_ right to say things like that. No _shucking_ right.”

Thomas knew Minho was swearing a lot, but it had never felt so threatening before. It completely paralyzed Thomas and he realised he was holding his breath. His hands were on Minho's forearms and he was shaking so much he would not be surprised to feel his body shatter. Minho seemed to notice it too because he let go of Thomas' shirt and took a step back. With nothing to hold him up, Thomas realised he was shaking too much to stand up on his own and he slid against the wall of the bar until he could feel the ground under him.

“I'm sorry.”

“I know shuck face.” Minho sat down next to him, a little more graciously than Thomas. They sat in silence and Thomas considered going back inside to take his phone but he could not move, his brain refusing to allow him to make a move. They stayed outside, sitting on the cold groung, in the cool air, lost in their thoughts. Until Thomas spoke again, his voice breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“I'm scared.” It sounded more vulnerable than he had intended.

“I know.”

“I should go back to take my phone.”

“Stay here, I'll bring it to you.”

“I can go y'know.”

“Are you shucking kidding me? You're shaking Thomas, I'm not even sure you could stand up.” There was a small smirk on Minho's face and Thomas smiled saddly, defeated.

“What are you waiting for then? Bring it back to me.”

Minho disappeared and came back a few seconds after, Thomas' phone in his hands. He handed him the device and Thomas unlocked the screen and his heart almost stopped beating as the scree displayed proudly an unread text. Shaking even more than before, Thomas opened it and tears watered his eyes.

“ **I couldn't answer your phone call, your brother was hungry. Let's phone tomorrow! Mom.** ”

“Oh my God, you're shucking me, right?!” Minho asked when he saw Thomas' text. “Have you already texted Newt?”

“Of course I have. And still nothing.”

“He might be trying to go to his bedroom safely. Newt tries to keep his phone away from his father as much as he can, so if his father is around he won't text.”

Thomas' fear was probably more obvious than he had thought because Minho sighed:

“Look, I'm not the one allowed to tell you that. I don't even know everything, Newt doesn't really talk about it because he doesn't wanna look weak. And he is not, far from that. But keep in mind that Newt has no privacy when he's there.”

Thomas thought about what Newt had said about sleeping. That he didn't sleep a lot because it was a vulnerable state. The less vulnerable he was, the better.

“I should never have let him go back there.”

“That's what I tell myself everyday...” Minho nodded, his voice low. And they both stayed there, staring blankly at Thomas' phone, hoping the device would soon display a new text. It didn't.

 

 

Back on their way to their room, Minho and Thomas did not talk that much. They walked with the others, Minho and Teresa holding hands, making the Asian boy relax a little and increasing Thomas' worry. His mind felt completely lonely, blank, inoperative without Newt next to him. “ _Be_ _strong”_ he thought. “ _Wait until you're in your room._ ”

A twenty-minute long walk had never seemed so long and, when he acually saw his building in the distance, Thomas wanted to run there, lock himself in his room and try to call Newt. But he tried to stop the growing urge and instead, he politely and absently wished a good night to his friends. They parted ways, Thomas walking faster and faster with each single step.

The last few minutes before you can finally do what you've been wanting to do for a long time are always the hardest. You are so close and so far away from your goal at the same time. You think about how long you've actually waited and you realise that you don't have the patience to wait any longer. You try to tell yourself you're almost there but it's not quite working and you feel like these are the longest minutes of your life. The hardest.

That's exactly how Thomas felt as he and Minho headed towards their room. He had his phone in his hand to make sure he would feel it vibrate in case Newt texted him. His hands were shaking too much to allow him to open the door so Minho took the keys. Thomas didn't even wait and dialed Newt's number and Minho asked him to put the device on speaker.

They waited. Thomas' breath was caught in his throat and he hoped he was not going to pass out if Newt actually answered his phone.

“Please Newt, please...” Thomas whispered.

“Thomas, if someone else than Newt answers the phone, he is dead.” At that precise moment, someone picked up the phone.

“Tommy-” Newt's voice was small and a little scared.

“Oh my God, Newt!” Thomas was so relieved and terrified for the blond at the same time that he felt like he was about to pass out. “Are you okay?”

“Don't call me, please.” Newt's voice was so low Thomas could barely understand what he was saying but his beatiful British accent was poisonned by pain. “Hang up and I'll send you a text.”

Newt's voice was so small Thomas did as he was told. He waited a few seconds and received a new text. “ **I'm okay.** ” Thomas looked at Minho, unable to proceed the words. Minho sighed and took the device. “ **Minho here. Is he around**?” They didn't have to wait long until Thomas' screen light up again. “ **Not anymore.** ”

“Shuck!” Minho sighed. “ **How bad?** ” Newt's reply was not really conforting. “ **Tell Tommy I'm okay.** ” Minho didn't say a thing, focused on the phone, obviously unsure what to type next, Thomas reading the text over his friend's shoulder. Minho did not insist and he gave Thomas the phone.

“His father is gone. Newt must be in his room, he is okay.”

Thomas swallowed hard and put the phone on his bed, next to his pillow. Neither the texts nor the phone conversation had made him feel better. Newt had told him he had a curfew and he was late but he was afraid the blond was hurt.

A few minutes later though, when Thomas went to bed, his phone vibrated. He took it, saw Newt's name on the screen and picked up.

“Newt! Are you okay?!” He felt stupid to even ask that question.

“N-No.” Newt was sobbing silently. “Tommy... H-he is completely pissed and-and... I need to hear your voice. C-Could you talk to m-me please?”

“Of course, anything.” Thomas' voice was full of tears: hearing Newt in such a state and not being able to do anything about it was the worst crushing feeling in the world. “What do you want me to talk about?”

“Whatever you want Tommy.” Newt's voice replied. Thomas heard a whine. He himself had to bit back a cry. “Just distract me. Please.”

So Thomas talked. He talked about something they both loved, something that could make Newt feel better, or at least, distract him: Arts. Newt never interrupted him, he never said a thing. He sometimes hummed so that Thomas knew he was still on the phone but he let Thomas talk. When he said he had been drawing since he was eight, Newt spoke.

“I would love to see some of your drawings...”

It was the first time Newt had cut Thomas off and his voice was heavy with sleep.

“Are you tired?”

Newt hummed again in the phone.

“D'you want me to let you sleep?”

“Could you... Could you talk me to sleep?” Newt's voice was low and husky and he was trying his best not to talk too loudly but enough to let Thomas hear him.

“Of course Newt.” And he did. Thomas kept talking about sweet nothings, things that would make Newt relax. When eventually he couldn't hear the blond, he slowly hanged up, like he was afraid it would wake Newt up. He stomach was still clenched and he knew Minho was not feeling well either.

He took his phone in his hand, checked the settings and put the device on his sound mode so that he would hear it if Newt tried to call him again and he slowly slid into his bed. His pillow, his blankets, everything in his bed smelled like Newt. He hugged his pillow as hard as he could, his phone still in his hand. It took him an eternity to fall asleep.

 

 

He was awakened by a persistent knocking on the door. Thomas groaned, still half asleep and shifted in his bed, wrapping himself in his blanket like a burrito, groaning some more as one of his foot was hit by fresh air. The knocking on the door was not stopping and Thomas felt something cold against his cheek. His phone. Why had he slept with his- _Newt_! He stood up, faster than he had ever done before and went for the door, almost face planting because his blanket followed him through half the room.

He opened the door just a little, scared to see if it were Newt and scared to realised it were not him and he didn't have time to think. He spotted a mop of blond air, caught a familiar scent and the next thing he knew was that Newt was in his arms, gripping him like he was drowing.

He didn't even have to think about what to do, his body reacted immediately. Thomas' hands went to Newt's back, one resting there and the other gently sliding to the back of the blond's neck. He held Newt close in a protective embrace and maybe it was weird to see because Newt and Thomas were approximatly as tall as each other, but the blond had instinctively hidden his head in Thomas' neck and their embrace felt natural.

“I can't go back there, I can't.” Newt's voice was cracking because of the sobs as he murmured against Thomas' neck.

“Shh, Newt I'm here.”

The words felt natural too, coming out of his mouth to soothe the sobbing and trembling blond in his arms. Newt's grip was becoming a little painful but Thomas took it, massaging his boyfriend's neck with his thumb in a relaxing gesture.

“I'm here, Newt, I'm here...”

Newt was silently crying at that point, Thomas could feel his uneven breathing and his quick heartbeat. He held him tighter. “Newt, you're okay. Shhh, don't worry, I'm here.”

Thomas' words and touch seemed to appease Newt a little bit: he breathed in deeply, his head still resting against Thomas' neck, but he did not loosen his grip.

“D'you want to move to the bed?” Thomas asked. Newt let out a choked chuckle and blond hair tickled his face, making Thomas understand that Newt was nodding. Still holding each other, they managed to go to the bed and sit down, Thomas still holding Newt, the blond still hiding his face in his neck, breathing slowly against his skin and making him shiver from head to toe. Newt hissed in pain when his body touched the bed but he didn't move, he only held Thomas closer.

“Oh shit, Newt, sorry!”

“'t's okay...” Newt mumbled against Thomas' skin. Thomas' finger tips were gently and lovingly rubbing Newt's hair and the blond chuckled once more. “You make me so weak.”

“What are you talking about?” Thomas asked, a little taken aback. He did not back up because he did not want to make Newt more vulnerable.

“I had never broken down like that before. And I've been through worst than that, trust me. But now, you're just... Here for me and I'm not-” he sobbed. “Tommy, I'm not strong enough to handle-”

“Shhh, Newt, Newt, calm down, you're with me. You're not weak.”

“I- I am. I'm a stupid gay guy with a homophobic and abusive father and- and-”

“And what Newt?” Thomas asked gently, like he was talking to a scared and injured wild animal. “Say it, you'll feel better.” At first, Thomas thought Newt would not answer. He was still fighting to regain a normal breathing and Thomas was still caressing his skin, slightly rubbing the tip of his fingers in the blond's hair. Newt shivered under the touch.

“I- I'm falling in love with you. And I trust you. And after all this time, I have someone with me, someone to rely on and-... And I can't handle my father anymore. I want to stand up against him. I want you to be proud of me. I want to be proud of me.”

“You know I'm not letting you go back there anyway, right?” Newt breathed out and relaxed a little in Thomas' arms.

“Thank you Tommy...”

“I'm here for you. I'll always be.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooooo! Okay, a chapter a bit depressive right? That makes me so nervous! Buuuuut, Thomas won't let Newt go back home to his father, that's quite a good thing! I don't really know how close I am to the end, but sadly, I think it should end soon... That's gonna be so weird!  
> BUT, I wanted to know if you guys had any suggestions or anything you'd like to read or something. I've been thinking of a new series lately and well, yeah, I'll see how it turns out! ^^  
> Anyway, let me know what you think of this chapter!  
> Thank you for your comments and kudos and everything! Thanks for reading this! I hope you "enjoyed" this chapter! :D


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Newt's head went back on Thomas' still bare chest, finding its new favorite spot, Thomas heard his boyfriend sigh in contentement. He couldn't help but do the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating: M for this chapter.

Thomas sighed in contentement. He was in his bed, with Newt and the blond was in a deep sleep Thomas did not want to interrupt because Newt needed to rest.

When the blond had raised his head from Thomas' neck, Thomas had seen the dark shadows under his eyes and even though Newt had slowly whipsered “Please, Tommy, don't ask.” Thomas had decided to force him to rest a little. At first Newt had refused to sleep, so they had just settled on the bed, Newt a little hidden in Thomas' chest.

But slowly, he had fallen asleep without any help from Thomas this time. Minho had woken up a little sooner and he had left the room, going to Teresa's to give both boys some privacy. His hand now resting on the slight curve of Newt's stomach, Thomas felt complete. His boyfriend was back and he would never let him go. Not ever again. The Sun was gently shinning through the window and it warmed up his skin, playing with Newt's perfect blond hair as well, making it look like gold. He felt loved and he was in love.

These were feelings he had never felt before and now, he was with a beatiful blond British boy. It messed up with his head almost all the time but he could actually handle it better with Newt because when they were together, he knew his heart was not the only one beating like crazy.

Newt shifted under his hand and Thomas looked down at him. He noticed he was tracing slow circles on Newt's stomach, a light touch so that he would not hurt him. So Newt had moved a little and now, the blond's arm was over Thomas'. It was a simple thing, a small nothing, but it made Thomas smile fondly. It was only when the hand gripped him that he realised Newt was awake.

“Hey Tommy.”

“Hey Newt! Slept well?”

“Better than I bloody have in years!” Newt replied with a smile as he stretched his body. He winced a little at the gesture.

“Newt, take it slow, are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“'t's okay, don't worry. Just a little bruised I think.”

“You think? Well, I wanna make sure.”

“Alright,” Newt mumbled, giving up. “There might be a little bit of dried blood.”

Thomas' eyes were wide with shock. “Are you kidding? Geez, take off your shirt!”

Thomas was ready to handle what was going to come next so when Newt started to look at him with frightened eyes, he put his hands on the blond's.

“Let's do it together.” He waited for Newt to nod and when he did, their hands moved to Newt's shirt, taking the hem and lifting the material over Newt's head. Newt's eyes stayed locked with Thomas' the whole time, not daring to break the connection and realise what he was doing. It was the first time Newt was bare chest in front of Thomas but he didn't even take a look, keeping the eye contact. When the piece of clothing fell onto the bed, Thomas took Newt's hand in his.

“Where?”

“On my back.” Newt gulped down loudly as Thomas' moved to take a look at his back. What he saw there made him furious. Newt's entire back was obviously covered in scars, just like the rest of his body – he had already felt it under his hands, he had a little idea of how Newt's skin looked like – but he didn't think he would see so many bruises and fresh cuts.

“Oh my God, Newt... What happened?”

“The bastard threw his bottle at me. Turning your back on the ennemy is such a stupid thing to do in these cases, right?” Newt said in a cold voice.

“Don't say that. It could've hit your face and knocked you out!”

“It did knock me out, that's the main reason I didn't send you a text...”

That was why Newt had sounded in pain when he had called him. Thomas did not stare for too long because Newt's body was slowly tensing and he knew the blond was ill-at-ease, probably feeling even more vulnerable because he could not see Thomas.

He was scared to touch Newt's skin: he didn't want to make him panic because he wanted to take care of his back.

“I need to go take a towel to clean you, don't move.” He let Newt on the bed, went to the bathroom and prepared everything as fast as he could, in order not to let the blond alone for too long. He came back to his bed, Newt looking a little self conscious now, his arms crossed so that his bare chest was a little hidden. Thomas knew he was covering the still a little bloody “STRAIGHT” scar. He went to sit back behing Newt, putting his stuff next to him on the bed.

“I'm gonna touch you alright?”

“Go ahead, I'm not a bloody child!” Newt said in a scared voice that contradicted his words. Thomas held him his hand.

“Need to have something to hold on to?” Newt took Thomas' hand in his almost immediately.

“Yeah. And please, stop staring at my skin, I know it's not really pretty...”

“I'm not staring, Newt, sorry. I was just- uh... Okay, I might have been staring a little, sorry.” Newt chuckled at that, turning his head to see Thomas and when their eyes locked, both of them laughed. The atmosphere was not that tense now, so Thomas let his hand connect with Newt's skin. The blond shivered.

“Geez, that feels bloody good. You're warm.” Thomas cleaned Newt's back, gently getting rid of the black dried blood, careful not to rub the towel too hard. He was very delicate and dedicated to his task, completely loosing himself in what he was doing. He dropped the towel when he was done and put a few bandages where the cuts looked deeper. He settled everything back down on the bed once he had finished and carressed Newt's sides slightly with the tip of his fingers. The blond let out a low moan and gave in to the touch, letting himself relax further in Thomas' embrace, bitting his lower lip, a little ashamed of the sound that had escaped his throat.

Newt ended up with his back against Thomas' chest, laying down on him, Thomas' fingers now brushing his belly and his abs. Newt did not really have perfect abs but Thomas like how his upper body looked. He liked how it felt under his hands, how warm it was, and, yes, maybe there were some scars he whished were not there, but it was part of Newt for now, and he wanted the blond as he was. He massaged him with a frimer grip, gently rubbing his bitten nails against Newt's skin sometimes, letting his hands do whatever they wanted.

Thomas should have seen it coming. He should have noticed the slight change in Newt's position, how the blond's skin was starting to boil under his hands, the way his body was slowly but surely tensing. But he continued his gestures, tracing down Newt's belly and massaging the blond's thighs. He could not say he was not thinking about what he was doing, but he did not really think – or even want to provoke what happened next – this could have an effect on Newt. The blond moved his hips a little, trying to escape Thomas and pressing down on him at the same time and Thomas bit his lip when he felt Newt brush against him like this.

It should have made him understand but he did not proceed the information immediately, lost in their embrace. Newt was trying not to hum in contentement against him. The blond moved his hips again as Thomas' hands wandered close, way too close. Thomas felt Newt's hair tickle his chin and, indeed, a second later, Newt was turning around, shifting his weight to not crush Thomas under him, failing in the process because he was trembling.

Thomas looked at him and was not surprised to soon feel Newt's lips against his. What surprised him though – but didn't at the same time – was that Newt's lips were shy yet passionate. Thomas felt New grip his hair with a shaky hand, trying to hold on, to anchor himself. The blond bit slowly and gently at his lower lip, asking him shyly to deepen the kiss and Thomas obeyed him, his own hands going to Newt's hair, gripping it in a tender gesture, purring all the love and care he could in the touches.

The kiss became a little heated, Thomas still pinned on the matress by Newt's body – even though it was not overpowering – and their tongues were playing with each others like pros, the blond's hands suddenly under his shirt, lovingly touching his hot skin. Soon, the material was gone and both men shuddered at the sensation of skin against skin. Thomas felt his whole body burn when he felt Newt's hand trace delicately his treasure trail, brushing it with the tip of his fingers.

“Newt-” He groaned against Newt's lips. The blond hummed in return, not completely separating their lips, amazingly lost in their kiss and touches, and he slowly went back to Thomas' lips.

“What did I do to turn you on like that?” Thomas asked with a playful chuckle.

“Are you seriously asking?” Newt whispered against his lips, a little incredulous. “You're so hot, so nice and you touch me like you don't even realise what you're bloody doing to me! I'm a man, you bloody idiot, there are things you cannot do if you want me to stay still! Do I need to go on or d'you get it?” There was a small smirk in his voice but the blush on his cheeks did not lie.

With that, Thomas' lips returned to Newt's, the blond's hands thoughtfully mapping Thomas body. He had not given it that much thought, but it was true that Thomas had actually been touching the blond in ways that would have turned himself on if he had been in his shoes.

Thomas' hands were soon on Newt's hips, resting near his belt and Newt moved even closer. Everything was so soft and every gesture showed so much care that Thomas felt himself lose it. He had no idea if he prefered a possessive Newt or a gentle and shy one. The atmosphere was heavy, hot and delicate, both men knowing what they wanted – and needed at that point – but not taking a step forward, because they were not sure the other wanted it too.

Newt's body started trembling against Thomas, and he pressed down on him a little, losing his balance. The friction created made them both moan. What they felt when their hips connected made them hold their breath and Thomas could feel Newt's heartbeat again his chest as loud ans fast as his own.

“Please, Tommy, please.” Newt begged in a husky and lustful voice Thomas had never heard before. If the blond was in the same state Thomas was currently in, he was in the same kind of pain.

He did not think about it twice. He managed to slide in hand in Newt's jeans and he heard the blond's broken moan as he finally touched him through his underwear.

“Bloody Hell...” Newt breathed out as he brushed his hand over Thomas treasure trail and Thomas felt the blond's hands shake as they unlocked his belt and as one of his hands made its way in Thomas' jeans.

He could not breathe, it all felt too good. They didn't stop, not letting themselves realise what they were doing. They touched each other, barely kissing, Newt's forehead resting on Thomas' shoulder, Thomas' other hands tracing messy patterns on his boyfriend's back. They both moaned at the same time as a jolt of pleasure spread into their bodies. Thomas knew he was close. They were close.

“Bloody Hell, Tommy...” Newt mumbled brokenly and he moaned loudly against Thomas' skin, his whole body tensing. Thomas had no idea what made him lose it: the use of his nickname, Newt's broken British accent, Newt's own release or the hand on him. Maybe everything in a row. Everything was swallowed by the white and powerful wave of pleasure as he bit his lips, letting out a slow but raw groan.

He eventually came back to the present time, but his brain was still in this amazing blissful state. The first thing he registered was Newt's body resting fully on his, his head hidden once more in Thomas' shoulder. The blond might found it peaceful to rest there, and Thomas would actually never complain because he just had to lift his arm a little to have it wrapped around Newt, protecting him in a reassuring hug.

“That was-” Thomas started.

“Bloody wonderful?” Newt completed, his now teasing voice muffled by Thomas' shoulder.

“Yeah, fucking amazing!” He agreed. “Even though my pants are kinda wet now, and that's a little disgusting.”

“I feel you...” Newt answered, shifting a little to face Thomas. He looked at Newt who had not moved that much: his head was turned towards Thomas, his cheek resting against his chest, the messy blond hair tickling him from time to time. They stayed like that, gently warmed up by the Sun, both needing a hot shower but not willing to move.

Thomas kissed Newt's forehead.

“You should go first.” Newt groaned.

“What if I don't bloody want to move?”

“Then I'll go first.”

“What if I don't bloody want you to move?”

Thomas let out a little laugh and he felt Newt kiss his skin tenderly. And in this moment, he had never felt more at peace, more loved. He had never loved so much, had never wanted to be with someone like he wanted to be with Newt. All he wanted to do was take a shower and sleep some more. He had no idea what time it was, did not remember what day it was, what he had to do. He did not care.

They went to the bathroom, one after the other, Newt eventually going first, because they still needed intimacy no matter what. When they were both cleaned up from the shower, a gentle heat radiating from their skins, once Newt's bandages got changed – because he had gotten into the shower without thinking about them – they both laid down on the bed.

It was such a perfect moment of happiness. It had been an amazing experience, had created a new kind of connection between them. And when Newt's head went back on Thomas' still bare chest, finding its new favorite spot, Thomas heard his _boyfriend_ sigh in contentement. He couldn't help but do the same.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Yep, here we go, new chapter! In which nothing really happends except obviously for this whole couple moment ^.^  
> Anyway, I'm kinda anxious for this one, I just hope so much it won't disappoint, I'm quite nervous! (I already said that, didn't I?) If you want to give me your impressions about this, do not hesitate! Feedbacks would be lovely!  
> Thank you for reading, commenting and leaving kudos, I'm really glad some of you like this! <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tommy, I'm serious, I can't afford to lose you...”  
> “You won't have to, don't worry. I just told you I loved you, you won't get rid of me that easily.” Thomas kissed Newt's forehead and ran his hand through the blond hair.  
> “I have no bloody idea how you can make me feel better in only a few bloody minutes.” Newt raised his head from Thomas' shoulder and his dark eyes spoke volume. “I have no idea how you do that. But thank you.”

“Newt, stop panicking, you're okay. You're with me.”

Thomas' voice was breaking the silence, trying to calm Newt down, to make the blond feel better. It had been sudden, something Thomas had not seen coming but Newt had started whimpering and moving in his sleep. Because, yes, they had fallen asleep. They had not had sex, but it had made them just as tired. And Newt had just woken up, because Thomas had shaken his arm, afraid to see the blond in such a state.

“It felt so real...”

“What did you dream of? Wanna talk about it?”

Newt fell silence, not knowing what to answer and Thomas automatically put his hand on the blond's back, running his fingers up and down his spine, over the bandages. Newt had fallen asleep bare chest, something Thomas had never thought possible but Newt suddenly crossed his arms over his chest.

“You don't have to be afraid, you're with me.”

“Bloody nightmare...” Was all the blond could reply.

“You're not going back.”

“I know, I just- I just can't control my dreams you know.”

“Okay, look,” Thomas adjusted his position and let Newt come to him. In a matter of seconds, the blond was on his lap, his arms around Thomas' neck, fingers softly mapping the skin of his nape, his head resting on Thomas' shoulder, his legs locked around his waist. Thomas' body reacted immediately, his arms going to Newt's back, one hand near his nape, the other near his waist. Their bodies recognized each other's so well and Newt was a real cuddler when it came to Thomas.

“It probably won't make you feel better, but you are safe, you are with me. You're a perfect human being and I will protect you as long as you let me do so.” Thomas said in Newt's hear. His voice was small, caring and Newt shivered with the intensity of the words.

“You realise I'll never let you go?” Newt asked against Thomas' skin, his lips moving against his neck to form the words.

“That's fine by me.”

They stayed like that and Thomas could feel Newt's strong and fast heartbeats against his own chest and it warmed him from the inside.

“Does your back hurt?” He suddenly asked, realising he had not even thought about that.

“Not that much, it's okay. Stings a little but that's normal, it's healing.” Newt kissed his neck and Thomas held him tighter. He could just feel something was still disturbing the blond. They had grown really close in a short amount of time and Thomas could feel Newt's nervousness. Though, he decided to let the British boy come to him, to let him make the first move. He was ready to wait a thousand years if necessary but he didn't have to because Newt mumbled:

“What if he hurts you?” It was so low, so broken Thomas was not even sure Newt had wanted him to hear. At that moment, he was like a child, afraid and lost.

“Is that what you dreamt about?”

“It's constantly poisonning my thoughts. I don't want you to get hurt because of me.”

“I won't. He should be the scared one.” He felt Newt's lips curling into a smile against his skin, but his voice contradicted the gesture. It was scared and sad when Newt spoke again.

“Tommy, I'm serious, I can't afford to lose you...”

“You won't have to, don't worry. I just told you I loved you, you won't get rid of me that easily.” Thomas kissed Newt's forehead and ran his hand through the blond hair.

“I have no bloody idea how you can make me feel better in only a few bloody minutes.” Newt raised his head from Thomas' shoulder and his dark eyes spoke volume. “I have no idea how you do that. But thank you.”

 

Two hours later – Thomas had actually had a look at his clock somehow but he could not remember what time the device had displayed – he and Newt were sat on the bed, legs entangled, drawing and working on their personal projects. It was peaceful, comfy, and none of them would have thought of moving even just an inch.

Thomas knew the activity would make Newt calm down and he was right. The blond was focused on his task, his dark eyes anchored to his notebook, his tongue sliding out of his mouth sometimes.

They had been drawing for the past hour while talking about everything and nothing.

“What is your favorite color on a painting?”

“Harsh one... I'd say white, difficult to make it perfect. What about yours?”

“I don't know, they are all quite difficult.”

“Have you ever painted anything before Tommy?”

“Is it that obvious? No, never, I'm not that good when it comes to painting. I have like, zero technique.”

“D'you want to give it a try someday? I kinda like it, could be great!” Newt's accent was more and more emphasised with every passing second, his voice playful and happy, his body relaxed, his eyes focused on his task. It made Thomas happy to see him like this.

“That could be fun, if you teach me.”

“It's all in the wrist y'know.” Newt explained with an absent look, slowly doing the motion with his hand. Thomas knew he was lost: he was unable to keep a serious face. He started laughing quietly but suddenly, Newt looked horrified, stopped right in his tracks, his hand stilled over his notebook and turned his head to look at Thomas. “Geez, Tommy, that's so not what I meant! You're such a bloody perv seriously! Just after we-” Thomas could see Newt blush a little at the memory and he himself felt his cheeks heat up. “It was not even suggestive you bloody-”

“I'm sorry, you were just moving your wrist up and down and- Oh, God, I'm sorry.” Thomas was laughing so hard now Newt's eyes soon started to sparkle with the same childish joy. Soon, both of them had almost tears running down their faces for how much they were laughing.

Newt had litteraly a hand on his belly and was trying to catch his breath and Thomas thought he would and could never get enough of this sight. It was hard for them to go back to their respective drawings after that, but they eventually managed to take their pens and work.

“Newt?”

“Mmmh?”

“What is your favorite type of art?”

“Geez, how the Hell can you find so many difficult questions?!”

And the debate went on and on.

They talked for what felt like hours until Thomas' stomach protested. “Time to eat!” Thomas said while he raised up from the bed, taking Newt's hand to help him stand up as well. “Stand up, you need to eat as much as I do!”

“D'you have anything in your fridge?” Newt asked, unconsciously lifting his hands to cover his stomach. “I've been kick around here and I don't feel really hungry.” He added, carefuly rubbing the area over the shirt he was now wearing. He was wearing one of Thomas' actually, even though he had his own bag of clothes under Minho's bed he had asked Thomas to lend him one of his because it made him feel relaxed. “I could do with some yogurt or something.”

“Are you kidding, why didn't you tell me?!”

“It's okay, don't worry, I'm just not so hungry.”

“Newt, don't scare me like that...” Thomas approached the blond and Newt opened his arms, letting the brunet boy hug him quickly.

“It's no big deal Tommy, it's not even bruised. Just slightly sensitive. And protesting at the simple thought of food.”

Thomas opened the fridge and handed Newt three yogurts and a plastic spoon he found on their desk. Why the Hell did they even have that? He did not remember buying any of these. Looking at the almost empty fridge, Thomas sighed: Minho had eaten evrything they had bought the previous weeks. He took the first thing that came to hand and made himself a sandwich.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Newt said, his voice shy, after they had finished eating.

“Shoot!”

“D'you think you could show me some of your drawings?”

“Yeah, of course, if you want to see them!”

“Well, you described some of them to me when I called you and er-... I won't pretend I remember everything but I had this amazing feeling of peace and I would really like to see them...”

“Take a look!” Thomas said, handing Newt his notebook. He was quite self conscious because he had never really showed his work to anyone his age before. And he was really, really nervous about what Newt was going to think about it. The blond took his time to look at every little thing that was on the paper and Thomas relaxed a little as he saw Newt's eyes grow with curiosity and amazement. Newt had a fascinating way of looking at his work, his head sometimes nodding slightly, his fingers moving to his lips like he was in some deep relfexion, his eyes almost eating the paper, reading every single curve, analysing everything Thomas had drawn.

“That's bloody amazing Tommy...” He said in an absent voice, lost in his observations.

“Thanks...”

Thomas' shy tone snapped Newt out of his world and he blinked several times, looking at Thomas.

“I'm not kidding Tommy, that's some bloody amazing piece of work!”

“Stop saying that, you're making me nervous.”

“Wha-Why would I make you nervous? You're really talented that's not my fault! I'm just stating the obvious here.” Newt smiled warmly.

“I'm pretty sure you're amazingly talented too, so stop it!”

“Are you nervous because I'm looking at your drawings?” Newt asked in a teasing voice.

“Yes! Nobody has ever seen them before! It's like you're looking at a part of my soul.”

“I understand what you mean. Though, there's nothing to be nervous about: your soul is bloody beautiful.”

Thomas blushed some more. It was cliché, it was fluffy but it felt perfect: he kissed Newt. “I'd like you to show me what you do, instead of saying these lovely things to me.”

“Oh er... Well, most of my stuff is... You bloody know where it is.”

“You left it there?” Newt's eyes saddened and melancholy settled on his features. Tough, he quickly blinked it away and offered Thomas a warm smile.

“Yeah, hidden under the floor in my room so that nobody would find it. That's not important, it was some old stuff anyway.”

Thomas did not say a thing, but a part of his mind kept working on it.

 

They went out of Thomas' room because Newt felt like smoking. Thomas had to admit Newt had not smoked for several hours, something that, as he had understood, was quite rare. The second they stepped outside, Newt's hand was in his pocket, already taking out his lighter and a cigarette. He put it to his lips and breathed deeply, nicotine slowly calming the blond.

It was already late and with how much they had eaten when they had had lunch – a yogurt and a sandwich, how the Hell could people be on a diet, Thomas needed food at every hour of day and night – Thomas was starving! Minho texted them via Newt's phone, asking them to meet their group at the cafeteria so that they would all eat something together.

Both men were happy to oblige and even Newt seemed to be a little bit hungry, which conforted Thomas who hated the idea of the blond being too injured to eat. They had a great time. And Thomas' heart beat really fast during the whole dinner, because Newt's hand never left his thigh. It stayed there, touching Thomas in an almost possessive gesture, like it belonged here. And it did.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the little absence, I was actually trying to finish my essay... And I failed ahah, I still have to work on them.  
> Well, doesn't matter 'cause here is what is important: I hope you will like this chapter! I have to apologize because nothing really happens in here, I just kinda wanted to show that they can spend some nice and relaxing time together, so yeah, sorry if you were seeking more action!   
> You'll see, next chapter will be a little better, I swear!   
> Still hope you will enjoy this and, well, do not hesitate to comment and give me your opinion!  
> Thanks for reading! <3


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Look, shank, what you wanna do- it's shucking nice, alright? But you are so not going to his house, breaking in or whatever you had planned, to just take a book of stuff he drew on a paper when he was suffering. What he needs is a fresh start.”  
> That was when it hit Thomas. Like a bolt of lightening, the idea surged in his head and he could not help but smile.  
> “Minho, you're a freaking genius!”

When they headed back to their dorm, the three boys were happily and casually talking. Though, Thomas' mind was still thinking. Should he tell Newt? Should he make it a surprise? He didn't really know. He was scared the blond would kill him or worse, wake up while he was gone and have a panic attack. Thomas had been thinking about it for the whole afternoon, or at least from the moment Newt had told him he had left his stuff at his parents' place, and he had to admit it was not fair: Newt should not have to give up a part of his stuff. His drawings were obviously something he cared about.

He wanted to find a way to go there and bring them back to Newt. It was stupid, but he wanted to. He talked about it with Minho while Newt was brushing his teeth.

“You know he'll never let you do so, right?”

“D'you think it's such a bad idea?”

“Mmmh... Yep. A shucking terrible idea, actually.”

“Oh, crap.” Thomas let himself fall on the bed, his back connecting with his matress for a second before he sat up, using the momentum. He understood that he looked desperate when Minho smiled warmly.

“Look, shank, what you wanna do- it's shucking nice, alright? But you are so not going to his house, breaking in or whatever you had planned, to just take a book of stuff he drew on a paper when he was suffering. What he needs is a fresh start.”

That was when it hit Thomas. Like a bolt of lightening, the idea surged in his head and he could not help but smile.

“Minho, you're a freaking genius!”

“I know, right? Damn it, it was high time you realised it!”

“Realised what?” Newt asked in a sleepy voice, rubbing his stomach over his – Thomas' – shirt.

“That I'm a genius!” Minho repeated with a superior tone.

“That's what I would call a bloody news!” Newt snorted. He sat down on Thomas' bed and yawned. Thomas got up and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth, thinking really really hard about what Minho had said. The idea was growing inside his mind and he was not even aware that it could look cliché or anything because it felt perfect.

When he finished, he went back into the room to find out Newt was already taking almost all his bed, fully laying on it. When he saw Thomas, the blond moved a little to let him some space to lay down with him and the brown-haired boy did, letting himself fall on the bed. Newt's hands went directly to Thomas' stomach and Thomas felt him shift to lay on his side. He cuddled with Newt and breathed in deeply, letting the blond's perfum overwhelm him.

The room went dark few minutes after and Thomas slowly dozed off, relaxed by Newt's simple presence next to him, by his body warmth, by the delicate weight of the blanket over them.

 

He woke up with Newt curled up at his side, his dark eyes half opened, glaring at him. His eyes were shinning in the light darkness.

“You look peaceful when you sleep.” His voice was husky, a little broken and heavy with sleep.

“Mmmmh...” Was all Thomas could manage to answer. “Look pretty 'eaceful' too when y'sleep.”

“Go back to sleep Tommy.” Newt said.

“Y'should sleep too...” Thomas said, adjusting himself under the blanket. Newt nodded and gently stroked his brown hair. Thomas could not help it: being petted like that sent him back to sleep, a comfortable warmth flooding his body.

When he woke up for real, he felt excited but at first, he could not remember why. Then, slowly, as he stretched his body, Thomas started to get a few memories back, enough at least to be even more excited than he had been when he had opened his eyes. He still needed to check a lot of things, to make sure he would actually find an open shop, to make sure Minho would help him because well, he basically needed to have someone with him.

As he started moving, he saw Newt's body move next to his: the blond was also waking up and Thomas hoped it was not because of him.

“Hey,” he said when Newt opened his eyes, a little confused. “You okay?”

“Bloody perfect,” Newt answered, a lazy smile spreading on his face. Thomas saw him yawn.

“Still tired?”

“Are you kidding? I have never slept for so long in my whole life. That feels bloody good, actually.”

“Need to sleep some more?”

“No actually, what would be perfect would be to have you scratch my back. It bloody itches, that's horrible.” Thomas smiled at Newt's childish tone and obliged, asking the blond to lay on his stomach so that he could held himself on his elbow and gently rub Newt's back, insisting on the bandages because he guessed they were itching Newt.

“Better?” He asked teasingly, already knowing the answer when he felt Newt's body tense and relax under his hands.

“Bloody Hell, that feels good. Could you move you hand over ther- oh don't move, Geez!”

They stayed curled up in bed a little longer but they eventually had to get out, especially if Thomas wanted to prepare his surprise for Newt. They got dressed and Minho came back in the room a few minutes later:

“We're going to the mall, you guys coming?”

“It's Sunday, isn't it closed?” Thomas asked, feeling nicely surprised to see it would actually be easy to buy what he had been thinking about since his talk with Minho.

“The place barely closes on Christmas day, does it answer your question? I guess we are some lucky shanks.”

“Come on Tommy,” Newt said, standing up, “you've never been there, it'll be bloody fun. Who else is coming?”

“Well, pretty much everyone, Teresa's been bothering everyone with that.”

“Geez, man, I would not want to be in your shoes!” Newt laughed.

 

They spent an amazing day. It was nice to go out with these people and they actually all went on very well. They parted way at some point, Teresa taking Newt away to show him something she had seen in a shop, Alby, Brenda and Gally heading towards a café. Minho and Thomas walked a little more and finally entered a shop, hoping Teresa would distract Newt long enough.

Thomas had already seen “Art shops” like he used to call them, and he loved these places where you could buy everything linked to art, from the most useful to the most stupid thing. He immediately felt a feeling of peace and wandered aimlessly in the shop, trying to take a look at everything, Minho behind him, barely impressed.

“Minho, d'you wanna help or not?”

“Nope.” Thomas turned back to face the Asian boy. “What?” Minho asked, raising his arms. “You forced me to go with you!”

Thomas ignored him and went back to his contemplations.

“Newt likes notebooks and colored pencil. He spends most of his time drawing with these.” Minho said with a sight. Thomas smirked.

“See? T'was not that hard!”

“Oh slim it shank.” Thomas could clearly hear the smile in Minho's voice.

They ate at the mall, stopping at a little restaurant where they spent almost two hours chatting and laughing. Newt had not been too demonstrative although he had kissed Thomas lovingly before they had to leave the room in the morning, but he had obviously missed the touches as much as Thomas had. He knew Newt was afraid to fall on his father here –even if, according to the blond himself it was highly unlikey – and he understood that. So he had just stayed as close as he could, his shoulder sometimes brushing Newt's. But now they were sat next to each other, Newt's chair close to Thomas' and their legs were entangled under the table.

Thomas had left what he had bought at the shop so that Newt would not ask questions and Minho and Teresa were supposed to go back there and take the items discreetly to the boys' bedroom. He could not wait but at the same time, he was more and more nervous.

 

Everybody eventually headed back, Thomas and Newt entering one last shop as Thomas saw Teresa go to the Art shop. He was way too nervous, but he relaxed immediately when Newt surprised him by taking his hand while they were not even on the campus. He looked at his boyfriend and saw the smile on Newt's face.

They walked back to Thomas' room, holding hands. Thomas' phone vibrated and he quickly took a look at the small device: Minho had sent him a text. **“Everything's under your bed, you can thank Teresa shank.”**

“You look bloody agitated Tommy, what's wrong?” Newt asked as they entered the room.

“I've been thinking about your stuff...” Thomas started carefuly, panicking a little because he was afraid Newt would not be pleased by what he had bought. “You know, you told me you let your old drawings at your parents' place and I've been thinking that it was sad that you couldn't have them so I thought-”

“No, no, please tell me you're not gonna say you want to go there to bring it back with you. 'Cause there's no way you're doing that, you know that right? No bloody way! I am so not letting you go! You're not doing that for me!”

“Newt-”

“No, no, no, no. Please, Tommy, that's not a good idea...”

“Newt-”

“Please, Tommy, drop it, I don't want you to go. I don't need that shit alright?”

“I know.” Thomas said, eventually shutting Newt.

“Then what-?”

“I was thinking that... well, you need a fresh start. And, I don't want you to mop around some stuff you drew when you were there. This is never happening again, you will never have to suffer again. So I was thinking that, maybe, I could help you have a fresh start.” Thomas moved the bags from under his bed.

“What the Hell- Tommy, are you bloody kidding?”

Newt had a look of pure astonishment and happiness on his face, something powerful and overwhelming and Thomas felt his heart miss a beat at the sight. The blond slowly moved towards the bags and sat down on his heels, trying to proceed what he was seeing. He looked like a child would on a Christmas day, like he had never seen so many beautiful things in his life. Thomas' heart ached as he thought that maybe he had not.

Newt's hands were still, unmoving over the bags but shaking with excitement, like he did not even know where to start.

“Oh my God...” He heard the blond whisper. Thomas did not say a thing, he just sat next to him, mimicking the position.

“Go ahead,” Thomas just murmured and Newt started taking everything out of the paper bags. There were papers, notebooks, pencils, paints, paintbrushes and he started shaking as he realised Thomas had bought him that.

“Minho's not here, but he helped. I mean, he wanted to give us some privacy but he was with me when I bought everything.” Newt's face was one of pure contentment. And then, suddenly, he froze and gripped Thomas' thigh.

“I-” Newt's voice shook and Thomas looked at him. When their eyes met, Newt's were wet with tears but the smile on his face made Thomas realised he was just happy. It seemed like Newt could not find the right words, unable to voice his feelings, to put into words the smile on his face.

So he did not try and Thomas soon felt the blond's hand on his cheek. Newt leaned in and their lips connected, like they were meant to be. Like nothing else in the world mattered. Newt's lips were soft against Thomas' and he adjusted just a little so that Newt would not lose his balance: the blond still had his other hand on Thomas' thigh. Soon, Newt grabbed the hair on Thomas' nape and Thomas moaned at the feeling. He moved forward, deepening the kiss, making Newt hum in contentement when his hands landed on his hips, playing with his jeans gently just because he knew it would make Newt lose his mind. It did.

It all happened in the blink of an eye, so fast Thomas did not even have time to follow: Newt took control of the kiss, mapping Thomas' mouth, making him gasp and the next thing Thomas knew was that he was now on the floor, pinned to the ground by Newt's body, the blond fully on him, still kissing him and holding himself on his elbow. Having Newt like that on him and pressing onto his hips slowly drove Thomas insane.

Newt's lips withdrew a little bit, but they were still caressing Thomas'. He slowly moved to map Thomas' jaw and soon kissed the sensitive skin of Thomas' neck. Thomas' hands slid under Newt's shirt.

“I want you to make love to me.” Newt whispered in his ear.

Thomas' heart missed a beat and he felt his whole body warm up. Newt was still moving his lips on the skin of Thomas' neck and Thomas turned his head, stopping the blond with a kiss. In a matter of seconds, he was on top, Newt was bare chest under him and the blond looked at him with dark and lustful eyes. Thomas shirt was lifted over his head without him noticing and Newt's fingers on his skin did not help him.

They kissed passionately and their jeans ended up tossed on the floor, somewhere next to them. Thomas could feel Newt's skin against his and it was hot, so damn hot he thought he could burn just from the feeling. Thomas grabbed Newt's hand, resting it on the floor next to Newt's head and the blond gripped it hard. They kissed, kissed until they could not breathe anymore, like their lives depended on it, like nothing else in the world existed.

And at that moment, it was true.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!   
> Okay, new chapter and, once again, I'm nervous. Because this is just basically some cute couple stuff, but also because, yes, it anounces the really approaching end... Well, actually, next chapter will be the epilogue!   
> I really hope you'll like this and well, I hope you'll like Thomas' idea to help Newt have a fresh start!  
> Do not hesitate to tell me what you think about this chapter, I'd like to hear your opinion! :)  
> Thanks for reading <3


	23. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You have no idea how proud of you I am.” Thomas said, his gaze also on the house.

Newt played with the ring on his left ring finger, a gesture that betrayed his nervousness. He had had to gather a huge amount of courage to come back at that place and now that he was actually there he was remembering how much he had grown up. He was not the same scared young adult he had once been. He was a whole new person. He still had scars on his body to remind him, but it was not important now that... A warm and familiar hand slid in his, interrupting his thoughts. He remained still, his eyes stuck on the house in front of him, but his body relaxed.

“You have no idea how proud of you I am.” Thomas said, his gaze also on the house.

Newt did not feel like getting closer for the moment so they stayed there, side by side, watching the burnt house from a safe distance. Newt's parents' house had burnt almost three years ago, a year after Newt and Thomas had left town. The house was still standing even though the roof had disappeared and the second floor was no more than a memory. The only thing that remained was the walls – not all of them, but enough to guess a house had been standing there before.

Newt had no idea if his parents had come back to town or even if they were still alive: they had moved a week after Newt had stopped coming back home and he had never heard of them again. Newt hated how he had reacted when he had found out, shocked to see that his genitors did not even care the slightest about him. He had felt a little abandoned when everything he had ever wanted was to break free. Thomas had been here to put him back together. Like he had always done.

His fiancé squeezed his hand gently, not urging him closer but bringing him back to reality. Newt finally turned his head and his eyes locked with Thomas'.

“Thank you for coming with me Tommy.”

“Like I was gonna leave you alone in such a moment.” Thomas answered lightly.

“Touché!” Newt laughed and the smile on Thomas' face made him warm up from the inside. It was amazing to see that, after already five years of relationship, they could still have such an effect on each other.

There was a reason for their presence here. Both of them were now working in the artistic field: Thomas had learnt to paint, and he happened to be incredibly good at it. Newt had continued to draw for his own pleasure and had found a great interest in photography. He had an exhibition in a few weeks and had been thinking about a new project. He had talked about it with Thomas and the brown-haired young man had immediately accepted to help him and Newt had to admit he was glad to have Thomas by his side no matter what: he was an amazing support.

“How do you feel?” Thomas asked next to him.

“Nervous.”

“You don't have to be, you're okay.”

Newt thought about it for a few seconds, analyzing his feelings. It had been a long time since he had freed himself from fear and he quickly found out why he was nervous. It was all about his project – their project. He wanted it to represent everything he could not put into words.

“I want it to represent what happened to me. How you saved me. It's gonn' be bloody hard to do that...”

Thomas let go of his hand and Newt let his lover shift him a little so that they could face each other.

“We're gonna make it perfect.”

Newt smiled and nodded, letting Thomas' arm slide on his waist, bringing their bodies closer. They kissed shamelessly in front of Newt's old house and Newt felt at peace. Because it felt right, because it _was_ right, because he and Thomas were meant to be and there had never been any reason to be scared of love, no matter who you were in love with.

When Newt withdrew, when he met Thomas' eyes, he suddenly remember the first time he had met this beautiful gaze. He recalled the feeling he had had at that time. It had overwhelmed him and from the beginning, he had known he was going to fall in love with Thomas.

Because it had been a feeling he had never felt before. It had been... As if he were finding out the world was okay again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus...So yep, sadly, here is the last chapter.  
> So there will be a few related OS, I will post them soon! If there is anything particular thing you'd like to read, well, do not hesitate to ask by leaving a comment!  
> Anyway, I hope you liked this last chapter! Go ahead, tell me what you thought about it, I'd be glad to hear!  
> Hopefuly, after I'm done posting OS I will start a new series (same here, I got a basic idea but don't hesitate to prompt me or something, it may give me ideas for a future thing, who knows?)  
> Thank you for reading! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's my 1st time posting here so I'm quite nervous ahah! I'm sorry this is very short but I hope it's fine...  
> I trully apologize for any mistake, English is not my mother tongue so don't hesitate to report any mistake.  
> Feedback are highly appreciated :)


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